JUN 30, singable satire: guest-parodist Al Silver croons about "WHOLE FOODS"

PARODY-LYRICS: GUEST-ARTIST

ORIGINAL SONG: "Blue Moon" 1934,  Rodgers and Hart, covered by Billy Eckstine, Mel Torme, Frank Sinatra, The Marcels etc.

PARODY-LYRICS COMPOSED: Al Silver, January 2013, copied here with permission, and with a few minor changes. Al has been a frequent contributor to the AmIRight song-parody website.

You can view Al's delightful lyrics along with some commentary (without images or chords)  displayed on that website at AmIRight.com Post "Whole Foods"
Check out some of our previous posts, for other great parody-lyrics by Al Silver.

WHOLE FOODS

(to the tune of "Blue Moon")

Whole Foods
You saw me sickly and thin,
Without a blush on my cheek,
Without a glow to my skin.

Whole Foods
You knew you just had to heed me,
You saw the way you should lead me,
And had the health food to feed me.

And then I saw there was a cornucopia
Of all the nuts and grains I could consume
(I know I have to use the rhyme “Utopia”)
And when I ate, my cheek began to bloom.

Whole Foods
Now I’m not sickly and thin,
I've got a blush on my cheek,
I've got a glow to my skin.

I ate organic goat cheese and quinoa
Wheatberry, kale, nori, tofu, too
Some dingleberries shipped fresh from Samoa
And pomegranates flown in from Peru.

Whole Foods
My LDL is now 5,
Systolic down to a hundred.
I think I’m barely alive.

Whole Foods
My LDL is now 5;
I have a blush on my cheek
But I am barely alive.

A cornucopia

 

JUN 29, defining opinion: crepuscular

Our blogpost "Defining Opinion" on the topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" shows a selection of similar verses submitted to OEDILF (the online Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form). You can see all of these on one visit by clicking HERE.

JUN 28, domestic hazards: security system

 

JUN 27, pluralia tantum: 'eruptions' -- medical nomenclature

Authors' Note: Eruption is a venerable medical term for a skin rash, in use since an earlier era when practitioners paid careful attention to characteristic skin lesions and various symptoms, but knew little of disease causality such as viral infection and allergy. Traditional names for medical symptoms and diseases in general are often based on lay vernacular terms dating from a much earlier time. Shingles is also known as herpes zoster, the second term referring to the belt-like distribution of lesions.

Grandpa Greg asked us to pass on this message: "You can view the entire collection of verses about 'pluralia tantum' by clicking HERE."

Jun 26, duplication: hanky-panky

 Authors' Note:  Reduplications as they are best known, sometimes also called duplications, are language forms (morphs), usually for nouns, in which an element of the word is repeated with little or no change; they figure prominently among the most musical elements in English and in other languages. To this author, the more commonly used term seems redundant. Many other examples begin with the letter 'h', e.g. harum-scarum, helter-skelter, higgledy-piggledy, hillbilly, and hubba-hubba.

Readers willing to go down an internet rabbit-hole HERE can easily get to a collection of more than a dozen other short verses in which we have dealt with specific reduplications, as well as three fairly lengthy patter-songs about this fascinating linguistic phenomenon. 

JUN 25, patients and their maladies: vitreous detachment

 You can view these verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Nurse-Verse: Patients and their Maladies' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

JUN 24, numbers: digits (base-10)

You can review our cumulated nonsense about numbers by clicking HERE.

JUN 23, poetic non-sequitur: judge's gavel, plus yesterday's temperature perversion

 

Our collection of 'Non-Sequiturs' on our parent blog "Edifying Nonsense", contains an admittedly bizarre assortment of nonsensical odds-and-ends, that don't quite fit into other topic-based offerings. But should you want to review the entire collection, click HERE.

JUN 22, diagnostic imaging: AC (attenuation correction) for PET scanning

Authors' Note:   Absorption of rays by body tissues complicates the interpretation of medical imaging with Positron Emission Tomography (PET). In equipment development since the year 2000, 'hybrid' scanners combine the nuclear camera with a CT x-ray unit that provides maps of attenuation; this technique for correction of attenuation (known to workers in the field as A.C.), makes PET more accurate in the detection of cancer. A potential limitation, the much lower energy of the photons used for x-ray CT, turns out to have little degrading effect in practical usage.

   Moreover, anatomic localization of the lesion can be obtained at the same session, enabling techniques such as superposition of the ‘hot’ focus on a 3D anatomic body-map. This technique has been given  the difficult and somewhat redundant term ‘PET-CT’.

 You can review all our verses on this intriguing topic by proceeding to a post on 'Edifying Nonsense' entitled 'Selected Topics in Diagnostic Imaging'. Click HERE!

JUN 21, planet-saving verse: invasive species

 

                                                                                                    

JUN 20, singable satire: Neil Young sings "GET ME ROGER STONE"

SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February 2019 (the brief sequel was added 2 month later). Readers interested in this topic might also enjoy Giorgio's lyrics posted on these earlier blogposts...
Dark Schemes
Rosenstein
Brennan's Tweet

ORIGINAL SONG: "Heart of Gold" 1971, written and recorded by legendary Canadian songwriter-performer Neil Young.

PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany this song on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

GET ME ROGER STONE - the song

(to the tune of "Heart of Gold"  by Neil Young) 


A foppish slickster,  a dirty trickster,

He’s worked with Manafort and ‘Tricky Dick’,

Deceptive tactics he knows to pick, sir

That keeps me seekin’ help from Roger Stone --

Get him on the phone.

That keeps me seekin’ help from Roger Stone,

Get him on the phone!

He is a slick son-xxx, let’s get him quick son,

He’s out-maneuvered jerks at Wiki Leaks.      

A touch of Lucifer, he speaks with Guccifer*.

We’ll trash the Clintons using Roger Stone --

Get him on the phone.

I like to seek advice from Roger Stone,

Get him on the phone!

I need to seek advice from Roger Stone.

A dirty trickster with a heart of stone.

Keep Special Counsel far from Roger Stone.

I’m in deep doodoo, get me Roger Stone.

*  Guccifer 2.0 is an online persona, that, according to U.S. documents of indictment, is operated by Russian millitary intelligence. In July 2016, 'Guccifer' claimed responsibility for hacking into emails of the U.S. Democratic National Committee, and releasing them to the media and to the website 'WikiLeaks'. 

Lucifer, Latin name for the morning star Venus, is treated in early Christian terminology as a synonym for Satan.  

SEQUEL:

His prospects sagged, judge has him gagged,

That gassy windbag, now he's on his own.

I barely knew him, best to eschew him.

Perhaps I'll later pardon Roger Stone--

Now, he's on his own.

|The Mueller Probe indicted Roger Stone.

I'll pardon later, but for now, disown.|   repeat and fade.

JUN 19, binomial phrases: "flotsam and jetsam"

 

Authors' Note:  'Floaters', in the eye, a common symptom may require expert medical attention when they first appear or become more numerous. Most often, they are insignificant and chronic. Jill might be surprised to learn that they are not caused by accumulation of discrete floating particles, e.g. jetsam, but are rather an effect attributed to fibrous strands traversing the vitreous (posterior) chamber of the eye.

Flotsam and jetsam is an intriguing binomial phrase. The original meaning of its two components is explained in a verse by OEDILFian contributor Kevin Lucas.  

To review our poetic effusion about binomial phrases proceed to our blog 'Edifying Nonsense', click HERE ! 

There is also an entire collection of lyrics to patter songs, somewhat older material, dedicated to various kinds of binomials, that provides more didactic material and an extensive series of examples, and allows you to sing these expressions for your own enjoyment, or for that of others around you. Click HERE !

JUN 18, organic brain poetry: hypothyroid depression

Authors' Note: 

rarefactive: (a non-standard use) — the condition of becoming less frequent; under-functioning

By far the most common cause of thyroid hormone deficiency or hypothyroidism (historically known as myxedema for a type of puffy swelling and rash in the legs) is progressive destruction of normal hormone-producing tissue by the process of colloid degeneration. Owing to the metabolic role of thyroid hormone, most body functions then slow, resulting, for example, in reduced heart rate and weight gain. For the brain, somnolence and depression may be accompanied in extreme cases by disordered mentation known as 'myxedema madness'.

Under normal circumstances, the anterior pituitary gland, stimulated by the brain's hypophysis, plays a key role as the 'master gland' in regulating hormone production. When the thyroid gland is flagging, the master gland increases its production of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone), a messenger that is excreted into the bloodstream, targeted to normalize the peripheral gland's production. Fortunately, the robust sensing mechanism in the hypophysis and pituitary, not impaired by the metabolic slowdown elsewhere, produces high levels of blood TSH so reliably that a simple test can be used as the best test for detection of the hypothyroid state.

You can view and review all our verses on the topic of 'Organic Brain Poetry' by following this link to the encyclopedic collection on "Edifying Nonsense."

JUN 17, palinku (poetic novelty): evil +b

 

(Ed. note:) Verses of this type have continued to proliferate, and the total now is approaching 60. You can view them all at one swoop if you proceed to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. Or, if you want to stay on this daily blog, you can enter 'Palinku' on the search line in the browser and find individual verses of this type published here over the last year.

'He won snow, eh?'

A snowy Christmas Day, Toronto, 2020

links for any date: scroll over to the calendar-based listings of 'Past Posts' in the righthand column on this page, choose your month of interest, and then select (by clicking) the post of your choice.

JUN 16, toxic vignette: anthracycline cardiotoxicity (monitoring left ventricular function)

Author's Note:   Anthracycline antibiotics, e.g. doxorubicin (adriamycin) are among the most effective chemotherapy agents; they have been profitably incorporated in multidrug chemotherapy treatment routines for many types of cancer. These advantages are partially offset by a relatively unique adverse effect — the possibility of cardiotoxicity, permanent impairment of the systolic (contracting) function of ventricular heart muscle. 

   Development of this side effect can be minimized by pharmacological manipulations and by monitoring cardiac function periodically during longterm treatment.

   Nuclear medicine techniques have classically been used, but echocardiography may also be of value (see the verse ‘Ejection Fraction’).

    

Review all our poems of toxicologic interest by clicking HERE.  

JUN 15, doctors and their practices: ophthalmologist sibling xxxxxxxxxxxx Dr. JJ

 A nostalgic recollection inspired by a birthday. Dr. JJ would be enjoying his 79th today.

at his younger bro's Bar Mitzvah

 

surprise party (40th anniversary) for his folks

an iconic 50th anniversary celebration

 

  

JUN 14, mammalian wildlife: Steller sea lions

ADDITIONAL Note:  A falling birth rate  (along with ongoing hunting) has been proposed as a principal factor in the decline in the last century of Pacific Ocean populations of the Steller sea lion, Eumetopias jubatus. Although wanton polygamy has, to be honest, always been an option for females of this species of magnificent marine mammals, the particular efforts of concerned individuals like our heroine Stella may have contributed to a recent recovery.

You can review the whole collection of illustrated verses about mammals (both domestic and exotic) by checking out the more extensive post on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !

JUN 13, English literature survey course: "Jabberwocky", Lewis Carroll's poem

You can review the entire curriculum for our 'English Classics Survey Course' at "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE.

JUN 12, reprehensible modern history: submarine warfare #2

Charleston, South Carolina played a major role in the development of submarine warfare. The Cold War Submarine Memorial is located at Patriot's Point in Mt. Pleasant SC, on the eastern side of Charleston harbor. 

At our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense', you can review our entire collection of panels about the history of submarine warfare, as well as the lyrics to the parody-song "Relic Submarines". Click HERE. 

JUN 11, funny bones: Lisfranc fractures

 

Authors' Note: 

crank: an unpleasant person who has difficulty with anger control

ORIF: acronym for surgical intervention for bone fractures — open reduction, internal fixation

plain films: medical jargon for two-dimensional x-ray studies, as opposed to CT, although digital media, not 'film' emulsion, are now generally used to analyze and record the images

With these injuries that involve one or more fractures, metatarsal bones of the lower foot are dissociated from the tarsus, making the mid-foot unstable. They were first observed in cavalry men during the Napoleonic Wars and later described by a French surgeon, Jacques Lisfranc de St-Martin. In English medical jargon they are known as Lisfranc (LIZ-frank or liz-FRANK) fractures. Self-diagnosis of this type of injury by a patient would be an unusual event.

You can view verses on this topic in a wider context by proceeding to the post 'Breaking News: FUNNY BONES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE! 

JUN 10, brief saga (national verse): Canada

Authors' Note:

les États-Unis (lay zay-TAH-zoo-ee, or as here, lay ZAY-tah-zoo-nee ): French for '(the) United States'

Au Canada: (O Ca-na-DUH), a tiny spoof on the title of our national anthem ("O Canada") in both official languages; the heavy emphasis on the final syllable in the English version seems artificial to those of us more accustomed to pronouncing our homeland as CA-nuh-duh.

pays (peh-EE), province (pro-VEHnS), compris (cohn-PREE), Québécois (kay-bay-CWA), chez nous (shay NOO) and au (OH): the French words for 'country', 'province', 'understood/included', 'Quebecker(s)', at home' and 'in/at (the)', respectively

(from) sea to sea: Canada's official motto is the Latin phrase A Mari usque ad Mare

This verse was inspired by speedysnail's "country" verses, including The Gambia. 

You can review our collection of verses about various individual nations, and about the groupings to which they belong, on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. 

 For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format are involved in a collaborative editing process that may take several weeks to over a year. 

 There are now over 40 of these lengthier bits of doggerel featured at OEDILF in Giorgio's "Author's Showcase". The OEDILF number for each accepted multiverse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. We have been blog-publishing these poetic adventures here monthly since January 2020.

To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog (February 2022), proceed to 'Careers'. 

To access the most recent previous 'brief saga' (December 2021), back up to 'Echoic Binomials'.

To access all of our 'brief sagas' by the year of their creation, click on your selection below.

2020
2021
2022
2023.

JUN 9, reptiles: eviction notice

 

 You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles' (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

view of wildlife at Caw Caw Interpretive Center,
Charleston County Parks,
April 30, 2022.

WATCH OUT!

 You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense".