July 31, 2023

JUL 31, American satire (prolongation): felony


Author's Note: The above verse could be seen as a companion piece to the author's 'felon'. Check that one out HERE.

We hope that you enjoyed this verse. You can find 40 more on this topic in 6 collections on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE to start! 

July 29, 2023

JUL 29, Toronto ravines: Cedarvale


a) reprise from 2020

JUL 30, Toronto ravines: Cedarvale Ravine


If you are interested in winding your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials

July 28, 2023

JUL 28, insects: DEET insect repellent


a) reprise from 2020

JUL 28, insects: insect repellents (DEET)


Authors' Note: The full name of the chemical is in fact N,N-diethyl-meta-toluamide

You can review Giorgio's other verses about pesty and occasionally beneficial insects, as  collected in 'Buzzwords: Verses about Insects' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials

July 27, 2023

JUL 27, Carolina lowcountry: sundown at Shem Creek


TO SEE MORE STUFF: To see older or newer material  (posted daily, or at least on most 'good' days), CLICK below the Comments Section, on 'Older Post' or 'Newer Post'.

July 26, 2023

JUL 26, magical canal palindromes: far-flung venues


a) reprise from 2020

JUL 26, magical canal palindrome --  more far-flung venues


wordplay; palindrome; magical palindrome; Giorgio Coniglio

You can become an expert fan of our wordplay concoction 'magical palindromes' by reviewing the explanatory material found in ancient days on our full-service blog "Edifying NonsenseHERE; then, you could check how we applied this technique to 'canal palindromes' by viewing this more recent post.

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials

July 25, 2023

JUL 25, homophonous verse: bypassed glitches


Authors' Note: Of course, the concept that bribes would be of benefit to authors submitting to OEDILF is patently nonsensical. There are a certain number of identity rhymes that appear in the database of edited verses there. The prosaic explanation, however, is that these bypassed initial glitches, being rather subtle in comparison with other flaws, are often under-observed and overlooked.

July 24, 2023

JUL 24, Ontario nostalgia: Toronto ravines (poem)


a) reprise from 2020

JUL 24, Ontario nostalgia: Toronto ravines (poem)

Authors' Note:  Glacial can be pronounced with either 2 or 3 syllables. Here, the word has the meaning of 'produced by, or related to a glacier’. 

  Geologists tell us that during the Wisconsin glaciation, the ice-sheet scooped out soft rock and pushed the piled-up debris, sand and gravel, southward towards Lake Iroquois, the precursor of Lake Ontario. Twelve thousand years ago, with the ending of the ice-age, meltwater from the Laurentide Glacier eroded the channels that became the basis of Toronto's system of ravines.

If you are interested in winding your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.

You can review the entire series of illustrated poems about the good old days in Ontario by checking the post 'Ontario Nostalgia' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials

July 23, 2023

JUL 23, Carolina lowcountry: various suburban wildlife

fawn in Mt Pleasant subdivision

realistic guard-alligator (concrete)

well-camouflaged crab on stony path

juvenile black-crown night-heron

young green anole

Anerican green tree frog


TO SEE MORE STUFF: To see older or newer material (posted daily, or at least on most 'good' days), CLICK below the Comments Section, on 'Older Post' or 'Newer Post'.

July 22, 2023

JUL 22, patients and their maladies: nervous bladder


Authors' Note: Final requests have also been discussed here by speedysnail.

You can view collections of verses on this topic by proceeding to "Nurse-Verse: PATIENTS and their MALADIES" on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

July 21, 2023

JUL 21, terminal (poetic) exclamation: KA-POW!

Authors' Note: 
Ka-pow! (variant kerpow!): comic-book type interjection for a noise emitted when a blow is landed in a fight (often involving a super-hero)
Line 6: occasionally used sixth line of a limerick, unheard of in the early days of the modality, finding some currency among modern authors. See our poem on  "Addendum-icitis" HERE
The limericks written by Edward Lear and his contemporaries a century ago often included repetition of the poem's key word at the end of the final line.

You can review our collection of poems on the topic of "Terminal Exclamation (Limerick Variations)" as it evolves on our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense"; click HERE.  

July 20, 2023

JUL 20 (2023), singable satire: Gordon Lightfoot sings "A TRIP DOWN THE ACHERON RIVIERA"W-I-P


ORIGINAL POEM:  "Inferno" by Dante Alighieri, the first book in the triad "The Divine Comedy", written in the early 14th century.
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", 1976 by Gordon Lightfoot, used primarily for music and meter.
PARODY COMPOSED: Archaic quasi-Italian and English lyrics by Giorgio Coniglio, May 2015.
PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "A Trip Down the Acheron Riviera" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

Charon herding souls onto his boat
"The Last Judgment" Michelangelo

Charon herds souls of the damned.
Painting by Gustave Dore, 1890. 

"The Vestibule of Hell
 and the Souls Mustering
 to Cross the Acheron River"
William Blake 1827.

The Italian lyrics for this revised Canto are primarily Dante’s. Some lines were re-arranged, but to the extent possible the original 14th century Tuscan language was preserved. My English translation follows the Italian, with liberal adaptations for modern readers.
See also the collaboration of G. Lightfoot and W. Shakespeare in my post of Aug '14  


(to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald")

Accounts linger on from Old Testament on down
Of the fiery pit Jews call Gehenna.
You probably knew that our Dante passed through,
And the year Thirteen Hundred was when-a.

“Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore
Facemi la divina Podestate
Per me si va ne l’etterno dolore
Lasciat’ ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.”

The tour started badly, we recount to you sadly,
With a big screen predicting the weather,
“At this Rehab-resort, no rainstorms to report –
And you’ll surely be roasted for ever.”

Queste parole di colore oscuro
Vid’io scritte al sommo d’una porta.
Per ch’io: “Maestro il senso lor m’e duro.”
Elli: “Qui ogne viltà sia morta.”

The ‘agreement’ on monitor, in font and hue somber
Conflicted with my inner wish-list.
“This Hotel,” it is said, “never gives up her dead.”
Virge explained, “Here all fear is extinguished.”

Virgil (sotto voce):
Siam venuti al loco ov’i’t’ho detto
(E poi che la sua mano a la mia puose),
Qui si convien lasciare ogni sospetto
(E poi mi mise a le segrete cose).

Pretend you’re a dope, play along, give up hope,
They are only programmed to receive here;
We’ll pay cash when we checkout, then we’ll get the heck out
With these exit-wristbands up our sleeves, here.

Quivi sospiri, pianti e alti guai
Risonavan per l’aere sempre tinta
Per ch’io al cominciar ne lagrimai
Alla gente par duole sì vinta.

In Fore-Hell, dark the air with deep sighs and despair
- Swarms of tormented waverers squealing.
This sight was so creepy, it made me quite weepy,
But old Virgil was not too revealing.

Dietro a una ’nsegna sì lunga tratta venia
Di gente, ch’i’ non averei creduto
Un’ombra ho riconosciuto, che fece il gran rifiuto
La fama e giustizia lo sdegna.

Stung by insects (no DEET), whirled one shade I did meet,
Celestine, who’d St. Pete’s Seat vacated,
Crewed for the apathetic, chased banners, frenetic.
His successor – B. 8th *, was well-hated.   
This helpful map shows the river Acheron surrounding the Rings
Vidi genti a la riviera d’un gran fiume
Di trapassar parevan sì pronte
“Che è quell ch’i’ discerno per lo fioco lume?”  
(Virgil)“Si fier conte su lo rio d’Acheronte”

I saw folks lighting up in some packed smoking-lounge
Like lured birds they had gathered at the ferry-a
(Too many metaphors!), Adam’s seed on the shore,
For their trip down the Acheron Riviera.

Ed ecco! verso noi venire per nave
Un vecchio nocchier a lo blanco pelo
Gridando: “Guai a voi anime prave!
Non isperate mai veder lo cielo.”

And lo! There did float up before us in a boat
Red-necked good-old-boy demon named Charon.
“Do y’all understand where the Wrath-of-God lands?”
He inquired. The crowd answered with groans.   

“E tu che se’ costi, anima viva,
Pàrteti da cotesti che son morti.”
Ma poi che vide ch’io non mi partiva
Disse: “Per altra via, per altri porti.”

This ferryman said, he could only take the dead
Yelled out, "Fella, you’re alive, I can’t row ya.”
Virge gave him some lip, and I didn’t lose my grip;
He caved, ”’Gainst rules, but guess I can stow ya.” 

Figliuol mio, (disse‘l cortese maestro),
Quelli che muion ne l’ira di Dio
Tutti convegnon qui d’ogne paese
E pronti son a trapassar lo rio.

My son (preached my teacher), these polyglot creatures,
Have pissed off their superior, our Father;
When sent farther below, these late souls don’t tarry-o
Here they eerily, eagerly gather.

Quinci non passa anima buona
E però, se Caron di te si lagna 
Ben puoi sapere che’ l suo dir suona,

If Charon seems to care that you haven’t paid your fare
Recall, you’re not a routine ticket-holder.
As a bona-fide shade, I have already paid.

La mente di cui la paura mi bagna.

Your assurance won’t make me feel bolder.

La buia terra tremò e diede vento
E balenò una luce vermiglia
La qual mi vinse ciascun sentimento
E caddi come l’uom cui sonno piglia.

The crossing on Wrath-of-God’s deck that strange night,
- I was struck by deep sleep, can’t remember
What remains are the sights and the terrifying sounds
Of a fierce wind, red light and a tremor.

Bad mem’ries live on, from Old Testament on down
Of the brownfield site known as Gehenna
A park they’ll instate when they decontaminate
But completion date – hard to know when-a.

B. 8th or Boniface VIII, the pope who succeeded Celestine was Dante’s enemy.  

July 19, 2023

JUL 19, (re)duplication: cootchie-(cootchie)-coo


Authors' Note: Cootchie coo, sometimes cootchie cootchie coo, with its many spelling variants, has evolved as a (re)duplication voiced when tickling a baby, or possibly other targets, as described [[47817:here]]. Bloviation, and the blowhard are described in other verses.

Readers willing to go down an internet rabbit-hole HERE can easily get to a collection of more than a dozen other short verses in which we have dealt with specific reduplications, as well as three fairly lengthy patter-songs about this fascinating linguistic phenomenon. 

July 18, 2023

JUL 18, Canadiana: Eastern Canadian funky towns


a) reprise from January 30, 2020

JAN 30, Canadiana: Eastern Canadian funky towns

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials

July 17, 2023

JUL 17, defining opinion: hoe

 Authors' Note: To buy some great veggies, it is worth the effort to find Organic Stan's Veggie-stand, located on Remote Road in Greater Organistan.

 Our blogpost "Defining Opinion" on the topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" shows a selection of similar verses submitted to OEDILF (the online Omnificent English Dictionary iLimerick Form). You can see all of these on one visit by clicking HERE.

July 16, 2023

JUL 16, bottom line of medical humour: anal fissure


a) reprise from 2020

JUL 16, bottom line of medical humor: anal fissure

Authors' Note: 'Aneous', a puerile neologism, has been used here to close the verse, as the proper medical term 'anus' may not function appropriately in this instance. 

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'The BOTTOM LINE of MEDICAL HUMOR' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

b) Giorgio's Lexicon of Binomials