AUG 30, singable satire: a reggae ballad: "F.O.P. -SHOP WINE"

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG : "Red Red Wine",  Neil Diamond 1968, covered by the reggae band UB40, 1983, with addition of a "toasted" rap section.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

 In my province of Ontario and a few other Canadian provinces, licences are granted to shops which allow customers to make their own beer or wine "for personal consumption". These stores are generally referred to by the public as "wineries" or "wineshops", but the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario who regulates these outlets, refers to the stores as UVin or UVin/UBrew, and to the process as FOP (ferment on premises). Some customers who have appropriate space and ambient conditions in their basements prefer to buy equipment and kits for FAH (ferment at home). I personally have been an enthusiastic user of FOP for 15 years, (although I must admit that I have seldom referred to it by this term). 

FOP-SHOP WINE

(to the tune of "Red Red Wine" - reggae version by UB40)

FOP-store wine 

wine kits for sale
in an Ontario store

My kind of sh-o-o-op 

They take my credit card, 

Do all the wo-o-ork.

FOP-shop wine 

Add yeast to mu-u-ust 

Then when my batch is done

Remember to sho-o-ow

Must schedule to show.

I’ll get called - 

Bottling time

Box up thirty that you’ve cleaned

Labels choose

Shrink-wrap tops

After using cork-machine.

The FOP process

FOP-shop wine 

Save half the co-o-ost

Take up no basement  space

Yet fill home wine-racks.

Pay no high tax.

(the "toasted" rap section as per UB40 version) 

 FOP-shop wine, you help reduce the cost

Keep me from feeling me money is lost

FOP-shop wine, you make me feel so grand

We host lots of parties 'cause I’ve always wine on hand

FOP-shop wine, when you’re gone you make me think

Empties need washing in the basement laundry sink. 

FOP-shop wine, I can get to where you are

Boxes in a taxi, when I’ve broken-down old car.

FOP-shop stores, Canucks call them UVin

Personal consumption is seen as no sin. 

Some province license UVin and UBrew
(Brew-shops in the USA who'll do your wine are few.)
FOP-shop wine, might be in your neighbourhood

Quality can vary, but most kits are quite good.

 Twenty years - a few bad bottles, five or six

Never short of holiday or birthday gifts.

 F-O-P means "ferment on premises"
Lots of varieties to please your picky missus
FOP-shop kits always come from foreign lands
Must be some reason local growers not at hand 
FOP-shop kits which we'll really like I know
Aussie shiraz, French or Chilean merlot
Need no special gear, technique's not too hard
Fermentation start by stirring with your credit card.

Reprise: final verse

(FOP.......tax)

staff workspace
in a UVin/UBrew shop

Fade