EXPLANATION: Lehrer had adapted the tune of "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". There are 3 somewhat different melodies/chord-sequences used in alteration through the GandS song, and in Lehrer's derived spoof.
NARY an ELEMENT
Lehrer had adapted the tune of “The Major General’s Song” from Gilbert and Sullivan’s “Pirates of Penzance”. There are 3 somewhat different melodies/chord-sequences used in alteration through the G-and-S song, and these are retained in Lehrer’s derived spoof.
PARODY COMPOSED: “Nary An Element”, 2013, is a more recently concocted entity that imitates the tune and musical style of Lehrer’s song, but with funky, related lyrics. The new song consists of a general listing of the third declension of Latin nouns, a group of ‘neutral’ (non-gendered) objects that are often absorbed as loanwords directly into English. We note that names of their elemental cousins. e.g. sodium and tantalum, that had been exploited in Lehrer’s famous parody, are totally excluded from our new list. Such remaining third declension nouns, numbering a few hundred, typically ending in -ium or -um, impart a classic tone into discussions.
The current spoof lists more than a hundred of these formal-sounding terms, honoring the broader spectrum of “neutral” Latin nouns that have infiltrated our formal language, with particular involvement of areas such as law, mathematics, medicine, biology and architecture.
Our new list tries to avoid those terms used in the most egregiously technical jargon, (such as drug trade-names Librium and Valium, and names of obscure plant species). Although a few entries (e.g. deuterium) impinge on the territory of chemistry, exclusion of the elements named by Lehrer results in the title that was selected for our new spoof — “Nary An Element”.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog “SILLY SONGS and SATIRE” with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions.
To find ukulele (or guitar) chords to help you accompany “NARY AN ELEMENT”, click HERE. But, a warning is needed, based on my attempt to perform this piece at a ukulele-club open-mike event ! It is not an easy task, particularly the singing part!
Singable Introduction:
Tom Lehrer became a legend with his scientific patter-song,
More popular and loved than his unpublished “Anti-Matter Song”;
Enhancing humdrum discourse, just to quote his ode lends elegance
To conversation thrumming with the spectrum of the Elements.
We face this glum conundrum as alumni of Philology:
Lay-folk would like a list replete with Latin etymology
The possibilities for neutral nouns in -U-M loom awesome;
No need to invoke hokum terms like tantrum or opossum, chum.
Patter-Song Lyrics:
There’s atrium, asylum, arboretum, auditorium
Compendium and modicum and rostrum, crematorium
And coliseum, quantum, condominium, euphonium
And album, acetabulum, museum, pandemonium.
There’s maximum and minimum and optimum and medium
And opium, opprobrium, colloquium and tedium
Colostrum, serum, sputum, sebum, labium, meconium
And sternum, talcum, ovum, nostrum, and spermatogonium.
Caladium, nasturtium and laburnum and geranium
And sacrum, c(a)ecum, ischium and tympanum and cranium
Consortium, memorandum, and symposium and podium
And duodenum, datum, vacuum, ultimatum, odium.
There’s pablum, perineum, paramecium, petroleum
And locum and inoculum, lyceum and linoleum
And tritium, deuterium, trapezium and trillium
Mycelium, flagellum, endothelium and cilium.
There’s quorum and decorum, mausoleum, moratorium
And premium, per-annum, honorarium, emporium
And pendulum and forum, fulcrum, speculum, bacterium
And cerebellum, plenum, sum, curriculum, delirium.
Gymnasium and stadium and magnum and terrarium
Solarium, momentum, myocardium, aquarium
And scrotum and factotum and postpartum and continuum
And spectrum, referendum, rectum and … (What’s left?) residuum.
Addendum #1
To plural them, heads swirling them, “What single rule? — please answer, Pa”.
My dictum, “Don’t inflict ’em with erratums or chrysanthema !”
Addendum #2
There’s stratum, alum, allium, alluvium et alia,
And mom’s pouch called marsupium, but mostly in Australia.
Follow-up : Readers who enjoyed the above song-spoof are likely to enjoy another set of lyrics in the same genre, inspired by the inventiveness of Tom Lehrer — “The Uniqueness of ‘Nucular’ ”.
READY TO SEE MORE ?
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