MAY 30, singable satire, the modern Hamlet monologue "THE PLAY'S A STING"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance".

LYRICS: modified from W. Shakespeare "Hamlet (Prince of Denmark)"; the soliloquy "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I"
Notes to the Lyrics: The lines sung by MG Stanley and by the Chorus generally exhibit the 3-syllable rhyming which has come to characterize the original and parodies of the "Major General's Song". In the present circumstance, neither the MG nor I was able to convince the Prince of Denmark to use a rhyming convention adopted by British naval officers several centuries later; his lines here have mostly single-syllable rhyming, and are therfore similar to Tom Lehrer's accessible version used in the song "The Elements" .

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013.

 UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions. 

 To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "THE PLAY"S A STING" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

THE PLAY'S A STING

(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song") 

(Maj. Gen. Stanley)

   

As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,

 Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry

For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,

And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.

To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,

Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous   

Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius 

Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonious.

(Hamlet)

So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !

Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?

He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,       

Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.

Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,

And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;    
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –   

I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.

 I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues

 Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,

 And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose – 

Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !

I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck 

By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;

I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering

If Claudius should leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

                                        

The seating for such theatre-shorts, and photo-ops we should confirm,

With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;

The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

 Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, in digital or analog, 

My Sing-Along Soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue. 

(Chorus)

We've kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **, and now it's posted on a blog,    

"O! What a peasant slave and rogue..."  -  the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted on this site May 2014.

**A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.

 

MAY 29, Ontario nostalgia: commuting by rail

You can review the entire series of illustrated poems about the good old days in Ontario by checking the post 'Ontario Nostalgia' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. 

links for any date: scroll over to the calendar-based listings of 'Past Posts' in the righthand column on this page, choose your year and then month of interest, and then select (by clicking) the post of your choice.

to continue daily titillations: BE SURE TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE!

MAY 28, limerick for lovers of classic languages: Homo latinophonius

Authors' Note:

mus (MOOS): Latin for ‘mouse’

puer (POO-er): 'boy', a prototype Latin noun, often used in early lessons to introduce the topic of declension

faex: Latin for 'dreg', 'sediment' or 'deposit'

faeces: the more familiar plural form

The author has several decades of experience in attempting to get trainees who had never studied Latin to use Anglo-Latin words appropriately in medical reports. 

Presumably, Linnaeus' associates and protégés in 18th century Swedish academia were all well-versed in Latin.

To review all of our output on the topic of classic languages, go to our encyclopedic compendium, "Edifying Nonsense"; click HERE !

MAY 27, wordplay: Scramble-towns eastern Canada,7

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams, i.e. letter scrambles, is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation. 

 LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map (8), eh?

Back up to the first Canadian map.

Back up to the first American map.

MAY 26, reptiles: fence lizards

You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles' (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense".

MAY 25, submitted palindromes: RANDOM PILES 5

MAY 24, life in Palindrome Valley: organizing the Palindrome Rally

                                            this verse has been approved at the online site OEDILF, #125910

Authors' Note: Most readers will be familiar with the lap-pool. The loop-pool, a luxury innovation found in Palindrome Valley, enhances swimming in either direction along a circuitous route.

Palindromes related to the material discussed in this poem include:

Harass selfless Sarah.

Ma is as selfless as I am. 

Harass Iris, Sarah.

and Ev, lovers revolve, as discussed in a recent post.

You can review other illustrated verses on this topic by proceeding to the collection 'Life in Palindrome Valley' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

MAY 23, toxic vignette: 'mad as a hatter' (the Danbury shakes)

Authors' Note: Erethismus (irritation) mercurialis, synonym for mercurialism / erethism, was well-known by Lewis Carroll's time, as signs of chronic poisoning had become common among workers in the hatting industry in which salts of mercury were used in the felting of furs; his character, the 'Mad Hatter' reflects the prevalent stereotype.

  In the US, hat-making was centered in the Connecticut town of Danbury, where the majority of long-term workers were subject to the 'Danbury shakes' as well as other neuropsychiatric manifestations. The plant continued in operation, including the dumping of wastewater effluent, until the early 1940s. It closed at that time due to staffing shortages and the need for mercury in the armaments industry.

   In 2020, a study of fish populations in Danbury's Still River showed alarming levels of mercury; the persistence of this toxic residue reflects, in part, the concept of biomagnification. 

Review all our poems of toxicologic interest by clicking HERE. 

MAY 22, binomial phrases: "bump and grind"

Authors' Note: The above verse features a number of binomial expressions, most of which are in common use. In fact, the "classic" binomial hot to trot, and the authors' proposed "Tease and Please" have the additional appeal of internal rhyme. Generally, because of their catchy appeal and common use, binomial phrases are often chosen as the names of restaurants, bars and small businesses, but the name proposed here for a strip-club is presumably an original use.

To review the poetic effusion that we have accumulated about binomial phrases, proceed to our blog "Edifying Nonsense", and check out the post  'Grandpa Greg's Grammar: Binomial Expressions'. Click HERE!

There is also an entire collection of lyrics to patter songs, somewhat older material, dedicated to various kinds of binomials, that provides more didactic material and an extensive series of examples, and allows you to sing these expressions for your own enjoyment, or for that of others around you. Click HERE !

MAY 21, photo-collage (waterfowl): brown pelicans

  

pelicatessen patrons may be less than mannerly

statue on a pelican-pedestal

white pelicans, a related species,
a rare treat seen in the Florida Everglades

a goofy-looking brown pelican preens itself

heavy-duty takeoff

pelican pirouette

at the peoicatessen:jockeying for position 

To see even more of these birds (and to learn more about the 'pelicatessen' and about brown pelicans of the Caribbean), you might want to review our posts "illustrated verse: brown pelicans",  and "folio entry: a brown-pelican  couple".