MAY 30, singable satire, the modern Hamlet monologue "THE PLAY'S A STING"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance".

LYRICS: modified from W. Shakespeare "Hamlet (Prince of Denmark)"; the soliloquy "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I"
Notes to the Lyrics: The lines sung by MG Stanley and by the Chorus generally exhibit the 3-syllable rhyming which has come to characterize the original and parodies of the "Major General's Song". In the present circumstance, neither the MG nor I was able to convince the Prince of Denmark to use a rhyming convention adopted by British naval officers several centuries later; his lines here have mostly single-syllable rhyming, and are therfore similar to Tom Lehrer's accessible version used in the song "The Elements" .

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013.

 UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions. 

 To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "THE PLAY"S A STING" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

THE PLAY'S A STING

(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song") 

(Maj. Gen. Stanley)

   

As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,

 Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry

For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,

And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.

To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,

Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous   

Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius 

Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonious.

(Hamlet)

So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !

Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?

He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,       

Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.

Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,

And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;    
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –   

I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.

 I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues

 Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,

 And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose – 

Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !

I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck 

By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;

I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering

If Claudius should leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

                                        

The seating for such theatre-shorts, and photo-ops we should confirm,

With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;

The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

 Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, in digital or analog, 

My Sing-Along Soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue. 

(Chorus)

We've kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **, and now it's posted on a blog,    

"O! What a peasant slave and rogue..."  -  the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted on this site May 2014.

**A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.