AUG 30, singable satire, the modern Hamlet monologue "THE PLAY'S A STING"

  a) Reprise of material posted on August 30 in previous years ...

2020: patients and maladies, prostatic hypertrophy, BPH (illustrated poem)
2021: amphibians, Kermit's reincarnation (illustrated poem) 
2022: singable satire, F.O.P.-shop Wine (parody lyrics)
2023: singable satire, Funniversary Song (parody lyrics)

To access the details of any item in slide format, type its title, as displayed above in red font (e.g. ... Funniversary Song), into one of the two search bars at the the top of your blog-page. Underneath the slide(s) for each entertaining delight that you discover, you will find a clickable link that lets you easily explore a more widespread collection of wonderments (verse, photos, wordplay, song-lyrics etc.) on the topic of your choice. 

b) Today's Offering (Aug 30, 2024): 

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". 
LYRICS: modified from W. Shakespeare "Hamlet (Prince of Denmark)"; the soliloquy "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I"
Notes to the Lyrics: The lines sung by MG Stanley and by the Chorus generally exhibit the 3-syllable rhyming which has come to characterize the original and parodies of the "Major General's Song". In the present circumstance, neither the MG or I was able to convince the Prince of Denmark to use a rhyming convention adopted by British naval officers several centuries later; his lines here have only single-syllable rhyming, and are therfore similar to Tom Lehrer's accessible version used in the song "The Elements" .

Parody Composed: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013, a sequel to the song, "Modern Major General" posted HERE in May 2014.   

THE PLAY'S A STING

(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song") 

(Maj. Gen. Stanley)

   

As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,

 Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry

For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,

And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.

To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,

Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous   

Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius 

Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonious.

(Hamlet)

So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !

Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?

He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,       

Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.

Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,

And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;    
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –   

I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.

 I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues

 Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,

 And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose – 

Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !

I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck 

By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;

I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering

If Claudius should leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

                                        

The seating for such theatre-shorts, and photo-ops we should confirm,

With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;

The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.

(Chorus)

Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:

The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.

(MajGen Stanley)

 Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, in digital or analog, 

My Sing-Along Soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue. 

(Chorus)

We've kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **, and now it's posted on a blog,    

"O! What a peasant slave and rogue..."  -  the Modern Hamlet Monologue.

* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted on this site May 2014.

**A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.