FEB 20 (2024), singable satire: Tom Lehrer sings "NO ELEMENTS"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "The Elements", a parody by Tom Lehrer,1959. 

PARODY COMPOSED: "No Elements", Giorgio Coniglio, a patter-song based on examples of the third declension of Latin nouns, April 2013. A decade later, it might be worthwhile to review these lyrics once more!

EXPLANATION: Lehrer had adapted the tune of "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance". There are 3 somewhat different melodies/chord-sequences used in alteration through the GandS song, and in Lehrer's derived take-off.

PARODY SONGLINK: You can view the lyrics for "No Elements" with chord indications for ukulele or guitar, if you wish to accompany your singing of these lines. But warning! It is not an easy task, particularly the singing part! Click HERE.

NO ELEMENTS          

(to the tune of "The Elements")    

Singable Introduction:
Tom Lehrer became a legend with his scientific patter-song,

More popular and loved than his unpublished “Anti-Matter Song”;

Enhancing humdrum discourse, just to quote his ode lends elegance

To conversation thrumming with the spectrum of the Elements.

  

We face this glum conundrum as alumni of Philology:

Lay-folk would like a list replete with Latin etymology

The possibilities for neutral nouns in -U-M loom awesome;

No need to invoke hokum terms like tantrum or opossum, chum.

Most names for elements are
 neutral Latin nouns

The Roman empire included England

  

A famous building in Rome

      




 

Patter-Song Lyrics:
There’s atrium, asylum, arboretum, auditorium

Compendium and modicum and rostrum, crematorium

And coliseum, quantum, condominium, euphonium

And album, acetabulum, museum, pandemonium.

            

There’s maximum and minimum and optimum and medium

And opium, opprobrium, colloquium and tedium

Colostrum, serum, sputum, sebum, nostrum and meconium

And sternum, talcum, labium, ovum, spermatogonium.  

Caladium, nasturtium and laburnum and geranium

And sacrum, c(a)ecum, ischium and tympanum and cranium

Consortium, memorandum, and symposium and podium

Desideratum, datum, vacuum, ultimatum, odium.

There’s pablum, perineum, paramecium, petroleum

And locum and inoculum, lyceum and linoleum

A few English words ending in -UM
 are not of Latin origin

And tritium, deuterium, trapezium and trillium
Mycelium, flagellum, endothelium and cilium.

There’s quorum and decorum, mausoleum, moratorium

And premium, per-annum, honorarium, emporium

And pendulum and forum, fulcrum, speculum, bacterium

And cerebellum, plenum, sum, curriculum, delirium.

Gymnasium and stadium and magnum and terrarium

Solarium, momentum, myocardium, aquarium

And scrotum and factotum and postpartum and continuum

And duodenum, referendum, rectum and residuum.

Addendum #1
There's stratum, alum, allium, alluvium et alia,
And mom's pouch called marsupium, but mostly in Australia.

Addendum #2

To plural them, heads swirling them, “What single rule? - please answer, Pa”.

My dictum, “Don’t inflict ‘em with erratums or chrysanthema !”