SEP 20 (2021), singable satire: Frank Sinatra sings "PROSTATE CANCER"

 PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Love and Marriage", 1955, Cahn and van Heusen, performed by Frank Sinatra, also Peggy Lee and Dinah Shore.
PARODY COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, January 2016.

Humor is likely still the best medicine, even for retired physicians.

PARODY-SONGLINK: To access ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "Prostate Cancer" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

PROSTATE CANCER 

(to the tune of “Love and Marriage”: indentations at beginnings of lines flag the syncopation.) 

Strange behavior, prostate cancer
Danger lurking down there in your pants, sir?
Age-effect? guys wondered;
So, “Yes”, you’ll have it at one hunderd.

(bridge) 

Most such tumors are just harmless 

‘Cancer in situ’ [1] 

You’ll kick can from other cause, yet 

Con...cept might befright you.

If you’ve got 10 years to squander

These are treatment outcomes you should ponder:

No spread when detected -

Five-year survival’s not affected!

(But) Certain cancers are bad actors

Younger age and bad genes are risk factors

Yet we’ve got the greatest,

For early pick-up: PSA-test [2]

(bridge) 

Try set frequency and onset;

Screen to detect’em.

Current guide adds DRE [3] - that’s

   .... Finger-up-rectum.

DRE and PSA-test

If they’re worrisome you’ll face the next step

To resolve the issue

Your doc will want to get some tissue.

Cut and cure my prostate cancer?

Ask your Uro, he’ll provide the answer.

Positive biopsy –

Might turn your life-plan turvy-topsy.    

Plan for treatment and prognosis

 That depends on what your Gleason-score [4] shows

“Six” - equivocation

You might pick watchful expectation.

(bridge)

Sigh! Why try avoid? Decide [5], if

You’ve drawn a “Seven”.

There’s no call for you to bawl

Or ....  pack bags for Heaven.

If it’s surg(e)ry, I’d subject me

To a retropubic prostatect(o)my;

Radical excision

Routine or high-tech [6] - your decision.

Kids, I’m betting on the cure–oh!

So I’m heading home to see my Uro

As I told your mother, 

“Four decades passed, they went by fast,

Four decades passed, let’s spend ano-o-other.” 

Readers are advised to inform themselves to the extent possible, and

then discuss the many issues involved with their health provider. Excellent online material is available at the American Cancer Society website. 

[1] cancer 'in place', which has not invaded locally or spread beyond the prostate gland.

[2] Prostate-Specific Antigen; a protein which leaks into the blood at a rate proportional to the activity of prostate cells; frequently used to help detect and monitor cancer. 
  

[3] Digital Rectal Examination by your urologist, or other doctor - not pleasant, but important.

[4] a measure of the abnormality in cell-type on either biopsy or surgical specimens, on a 10-point scale, based on the 2 most abnormal patterns found within the gland. 

[5] at this stage, treatment is usually recommended to eliminate all prostate tissue. Surgery is the more common choice, but various forms of radiation (external beam or implantation of radioactive beads) have also been used.

[6] recently, high-tech variants (laparoscopic and robotic surgery) have been developed, but their additional benefit is incompletely proven.  

SEP 20, poetic Panama palindrome parody: 'one man ... a panameno'

You can review the whole collection of our illustrated verses on this topic  by proceeding to 'Reversing Verse: Panama palindrome parodies' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

And, if you are interested in seeing innumerable examples of spoofy palindrome variants on wordplay maps, you could embark on a journey through a collection of  blogposts entitled 'Tourists' Palindromic Guides: The Americas, #1 -#4'. All that's needed is to click on the link.

SEP 19, American satire: fraudulent

Authors' Note: The above verse reflects the workings of democracy as perceived by a vocal minority, sometimes labeled 'conspiracy theorists', following the 2020 US presidential election. See also the verse "grift".  

 

We hope that you enjoyed this verse. You can find more than 30 more on this topic in 5 collections on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE to start! 

SEP 18, wordplay maps: Scramble-towns of eastern Canada, #5 and #6

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams (letter scrambles) is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation. 

 

LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map, eh?

Back to the previous Canadian map, eh?

Default to U.S.A. map #21 (final American version)

 

SEP 17, patients and maladies: diabetes insipidus

 

Authors' Note:  A deficiency of the pituitary hormone ADH (anti-diuretic hormone, also known as vasopressin), is the most common cause of a spontaneous development of polyuria due to diabetes insipidus. This disorder, characterized by passing of large volumes of urine, is partly compensated by increased thirst. A lack of sugar in the urine despite its large volume would exclude glycosuria due to diabetes mellitus. Radiographic tests done in this situation would definitely include imaging for evaluation of the skull base, as a tumour involving the posterior portion of the pituitary gland is a common cause.

 

You can view these verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Nurse-Verse: Patients and their Maladies' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 16, culinary verse: gefilte fish

 

There are a number of excellent and reliable commercial products; not surprisingly, in my view none can compete with my Aunt Shirley's home-made delicacy. 

Find the collection of illustrated poems dealing with these issues on the post 'Culinary Verse' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

SEP 15, curtained verse: horny rhino

 EDITORS' WARNING: You must be at least 12 years of age to read this post!

You can review other mildly scurrilous illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Curtained verse: Faintly Obscene (Selected) Limericks' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

SEP 14, variant Nantucket limerick: 'the Bay-Stater'

Authors' Note: 

Bay Stater: current official designation for a resident of the US state of Massachusetts

You can review our entire collection of spoof verses based on the iconic Nantucket limericks on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense' by clicking HERE.

SEP 13, reptiles: leaping lizards -- origin of flight

Authors' Note:  'Leapin' Lizards' was a classic idiom used to express surprise, long before it was suspected that birds had evolved from reptiles! 

You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles' (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

SEP 12, STD-poetry: latent lues

Authors' Note:  VDRL (initialism for venereal disease research laboratory): a screening blood test for syphilis developed in 1906 and updated in 1946

   Syphilis is sometimes referred to medically as lues, accounting for the choice of name for our protagonist.

   This verse, dealing with the asymptomatic latent stage, follows the author’s verse ‘chancre’, a manifestation of the early (‘primary’) stage. Treatment with penicillin at either of these stages is dramatically effective at preventing the dire consequences of progression to symptomatic late (‘tertiary’) disease.

You can review verses on this topic in a wider context on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense" by proceeding to the post 'Ruination, Rumination and Reminiscence: STD-Poetry'. Click HERE. 

SEP 11, garden intruders: leaf-blowers

Readers, you are fortunate to have available all our poetic comments on creatures (animal and vegetable), devoted to subverting your gardening plans. To view this collection our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense", click HERE!

You can also review illustrated verses about orderly garden inhabitants by proceeding to 'Poetry Praising the Charleston Garden' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

SEP 10, mammalian wildlife: skunks (evolution)

You can review the whole collection of illustrated verses about mammals (both domestic and exotic) by checking out the more extensive post on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !

 

SEP 9, palinku (poetic novelty): Kansas (KS)

 In this post, we will continue with a novel form of poetic wordplay. Inspired by Japanese haiku poetry, this new form is used for a terse verse with a total of 17 syllables displayed on three lines. Unlike its classic Japanese analogue, this concoction does not mandate the precise distribution of the syllables among the three lines, but does stipulate that each word in the poem be included in a palindromic phrase or sentence in English (i.e. one that can be read either forwards or backwards). 

  To help the reader discern the origin of the lyrics, each palindrome (generally occupying one of the three lines of the poem) has been color-coded. 

 And, just in case you have forgotten what palindromes are about, your blogsite hosts have arranged a serial set of brief lessons on the topic ('Political Palindromes'); start by clicking HERE. 

 

 (Ed. note:) Verses of this ilk have continued to accumulate. You can view them all at one swoop if you  proceed with a single click to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

SEP 8, waterfowl: ruddy turnstones

 

 ruddy turnstone, a high Arctic-breeding shorebird,
scurries across a beach strewn with oyster shells,
Patriots Point SC, May 2022

ruddy turnstone: female,
smaller and less brightly colored

You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. 

SEP 7, funny bones: Enid's osteopenia

 

Authors' Note: 

Osteopenia (ost-ee-oh-PEE-nee-yah), or reduced bone mass as suggested on regular x-ray studies, is a 'washed out' appearance raising the question of whether the patient has osteoporosis, a significant loss of bone mineral resulting in increased fracture risk. The word break in osteopenia (osteo, Latin root for ‘bone’) at the end of the first line is a reminder of its association with fracture. The DEXA test evaluates the mass of bone reproducibly, and, in the context of age and gender, helps decide on the necessity of drug treatment to prevent 'fragility fractures'. 

You can read more about the DEXA test for bone mineral density (BMD) HERE.

You can view verses on this topic in a wider context by proceeding to the post 'Breaking News: FUNNY BONES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 6, bottom line of medical humor: hemorrhoids

Authors' Note:  The long-term effectiveness of surgical and other treatments for hemorrhoids is disappointingly low. 

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'The BOTTOM LINE of MEDICAL HUMOR' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 5, a brief saga: the cormorant rookery

  For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format are involved in a collaborative editing process that may take several weeks to over a year. 

  Generally, OEDILF has not been enormously welcoming of multi-verse submissions, but Giorgio Coniglio has persisted, and the OEDILF number for each accepted multiverse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. 

To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog, proceed to 'Dodecanese Islands'.

To access the most recent previous 'brief saga', back up to 'French denial'.  

 

SEP 4, wordplay map: Scramble-towns of eastern Canada, #3 and #4

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams, i.e. letter scrambles, is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation. 

 LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map, eh?

Back up to the previous Canadian map, eh?

Default to U.S.A. map #21 (final American version)

SEP 3, numbers: trio (3)

 
 You can review our cumulated nonsense about numbers by clicking HERE.

Related photo:

Bossa nova trio,
Yorkville Village parkette, Toronto

SEP 2, doctors and their practices: the urologist

Authors' Note:  

PSA: prostate specific antigen, a widely used blood test to screen for prostate cancer and to monitor the result of treatment  

  

 Considerably more complex than blood tests, a biopsy obtains samples of the relevant tissue, and is used by the pathologist to make a specific determination as to the presence, type, and severity of disease. 

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'DOCTORS and their PRACTICES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

AUG 31, humorists' scurrilous talk: 'the F-word'

EDITORS' WARNING: You must be at least 12 years of age to read this post! 

The collection of informative verses dealing with 'HUMORISTS' SCURRILOUS TALK' can be found by proceeding to our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

AUG 30, amphibians: Kermit the Frog (reincarnation)

Be sure to check out the whole collection of 'Amphibians' by proceeding to "Edifying Nonsense." CLICK HERE ! 

You can also review more poems about 'Death and the Afterlife' in context on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

AUG 29, insects: Ricardo the dragonfly

Authors' Note: Adult dragonflies are carnivores who hunt on the wing, consuming daily up to a fifth of their body-weight in various flying insects, mosquitoes being one of their favorites. 

In the photo by GC, shot in the Muskoka region of Ontario, the insect temporarily has lighted (with wings typically spread) on a tiger lily, presumably to seek as prey the pollen-seeking insects attracted there. 

You can review Giorgio's other verses about pesty and occasionally beneficial insects, as  collected in 'Buzzwords: Verses about Insects' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

AUG 28, culinary verse: zucchini (courgettes)

Find the collection of illustrated poems dealing with these issues on the post 'Culinary Verse' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

AUG 27, scopes of medicine: mediastinoscopy

Authors' Note: Prior to the surgical treatment of bronchogenic lung cancer, your doctor will check for possible asymptomatic spread of disease with mediastinoscopy,  including biopsy of lymphatic tissue adjacent to the lungs. 

You can view a collection of verses on this topic  by proceeding to 'Inner Enlightenment: The Scopes of Modern Medicine' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !

AUG 26, wordplay maps: Scramble-towns of eastern Canada, #1 and #2

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams, i.e. letter scrambles, is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation.  

LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map, eh?

Back up to the Final U.S.A. map 

AUG 25, poets' corner: free verse

 

You can find lots of other verses on this blog under the listing "Poets' Corner".  Click HERE.

AUG 24, oncologic verses: Pat's adenoma

 You can view all such verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection of "ONCOLOGY VERSES" on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!