April 20, 2024

APR 20 (2024), singable patter-satire: "The UNIQUENESS OF NUCLEAR"

ORIGINAL SONG:  "The Elements", Tom Lehrer, 1959. 
Tom Lehrer, parodist

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, October 2013, a follow-up to our childhood enjoyment of Latin classes, as expressed in the earlier song "No Elements". Please note that T.L.'s genius has provided inspiration for a further handful of parody patter-songs. 
An earlier version of this particular song was first web-published in 2013 on the site "AmIRight" under the title "
Residents and Presidents". It has now been extensively updated for presentation to you, our favorite readers. 

PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany this song on your favorite instrument, proceed to our lyrics-blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" by clicking HERE (and when you get to the bottom of the SillySongs post, you can find links to our other songs inspired by Lehrer.) 


(to the tune of Tom Lehrer's "The Elements")

Singable Introduction:

There was a swarm of parodists who pounced straight for the jugular;
They satirized a Prez whose speech was smug yet sometimes struggular;
Disdain for George the Son, less blame for James from Plains in evidence;
They pegged the mis-spoke "NUCULAR" the catchword of the Presidents.

I toiled for several decades in the Section known as "NUCLEAR";
Though now fairly famili-ar, I still find it peculi-ar
That highly educated voices, palatal and uvular
Would schedule tests, requests infested with the mis-spoke "NUCULAR".

 Jimmy Carter and George W Bush
test requests


Patter-Song Lyrics

There's popular and insular and regular, oracular
Cuticular, vehicular, vesicular, vernacular
And tabular and tubular and muscular and modular
And cellular and singular and circular and nodular.

There's fibular, follicular, and pustular and jocular 
Vestibular and valvular, auricular and ocular
And vascular, crepuscular and titular, testicular
Peninsular, peduncular, avuncular, particular.

Triangular, corpuscular, spectacular and annular,
Articular and angular, glomerular and granular,
And glandular and scapular and spicular and globular
Molecular, trabecular, lenticular and lobular. 

And endless adjectival terms in Med'cine and Biology
With current usage driven by their Latin deriv-ology,
Like saccular and secular and ovular, fascicular
Reticular, radicular, furuncular, funicular.

So, clearly there's no stimulus for apparatus cochlear,
That simulates the sound unique of proper-spoken "NUCLEAR".


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