APR 20 (2024), singable patter-satire: "The UNIQUENESS OF NUCLEAR"

ORIGINAL SONG:  "The Elements", Tom Lehrer, 1959. 

Tom Lehrer, parodist

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, October 2013, a follow-up to our childhood enjoyment of Latin classes, as expressed in the earlier song "No Elements". Please note that T.L.'s genius has provided inspiration for a further handful of parody patter-songs. 
An earlier version of this particular song was first web-published in 2013 on the site "AmIRight" under the title "Residents and Presidents". It has now been extensively updated for presentation to you, our favorite readers. 

PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany this song on your favorite instrument, proceed to our lyrics-blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" by clicking HERE (and when you get to the bottom of the SillySongs post, you can find links to our other songs inspired by Lehrer.) 

THE UNIQUENESS of 'NUCLEAR'

(to the tune of Tom Lehrer's "The Elements")

Singable Introduction:

There was a swarm of parodists who pounced straight for the jugular;

They satirized a Prez whose speech was smug yet sometimes struggular;

Disdain for George the Son, less blame for James from Plains in evidence;

They pegged the mis-spoke "NUCULAR" the catchword of the Presidents.

I toiled for several decades in the Section known as "NUCLEAR";

Though now fairly famili-ar, I still find it peculi-ar

That highly educated voices, palatal and uvular

Would schedule tests, requests infested with the mis-spoke "NUCULAR".

Presidents
 Jimmy Carter and George W Bush

test requests
(web-illustration)

 

Patter-Song Lyrics

There's popular and insular and regular, oracular

Cuticular, vehicular, vesicular, vernacular

And tabular and tubular and muscular and modular

And cellular and singular and circular and nodular.

There's fibular, follicular, and pustular and jocular 

Vestibular and valvular, auricular and ocular

And vascular, crepuscular and titular, testicular

Peninsular, peduncular, avuncular, particular.

Triangular, corpuscular, spectacular and annular,

Articular and angular, glomerular and granular,

And glandular and scapular and spicular and globular

Molecular, trabecular, lenticular and lobular. 

And endless adjectival terms in Med'cine and Biology

With current usage driven by their Latin deriv-ology,

Like saccular and secular and ovular, fascicular

Reticular, radicular, furuncular, funicular.

So, clearly there's no stimulus for apparatus cochlear,

That simulates the sound unique of proper-spoken "NUCLEAR".