PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Major General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance".
Notes to the Lyrics: The lines sung by MG Stanley and by the Chorus generally exhibit the 3-syllable rhyming which has come to characterize the original and parodies of the "Major General's Song". In the present circumstance, neither the MG nor I was able to convince the Prince of Denmark to use a rhyming convention adopted by British naval officers several centuries later; his lines here have mostly single-syllable rhyming, and are therfore similar to Tom Lehrer's accessible version used in the song "The Elements" .
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2013.
UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions. 
THE PLAY'S A STING
(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song")
As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,
(Hamlet)
I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck
To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "THE PLAY"S A STING" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.
THE PLAY'S A STING
(to the tune of "TheMajor-General's Song")
(Maj. Gen. Stanley)
As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody*,
Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry
For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,
And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.
To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,
Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous
Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius
Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonious.
(Hamlet)
So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !
Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?
He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,
Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.
Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,
And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –
I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.
I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues
Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,
And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose –
Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !
I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck
By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;
I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering
If Claudius should leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.
(Chorus)
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.
(MajGen Stanley)
The seating for such theatre-shorts, and photo-ops we should confirm,
With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;
The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.
(Chorus)
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.
(MajGen Stanley)
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, in digital or analog,
My Sing-Along Soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
(Chorus)
We've kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **, and now it's posted on a blog,
"O! What a peasant slave and rogue..." - the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted on this site May 2014.
**A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.
