JUL 30, singable satire: "FLAKING OUT IS WHAT THEY DO", vaso-vagal syncope

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG : "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do", Neil Sedaka - recorded in two versions , 1962 (classic doo-wap version), and 1975 (slow-ballad version).

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions. 

 To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "FLAKING OUT IS WHAT THEY DO" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION:  

Health-care professionals who have to inject patients know that the fittest looking specimens, often muscular young men, are the most likely to faint with an injection, particularly if they stare at the needle. This phenomenon is well-known in Nuclear Medicine departments, where an intravenous injection is required before most scans. The injections are not technically challenging, as these out-patients have easy veins to access, but the somewhat unexpected result may disrupt the day’s schedule. 

“Sinus brady” is jargon for sinus bradycardia, a slow but regular and innocuous pattern on the electrocardiogram (ECG). CPR is an acronym for cardio-pulmonary resuscitation. Atropine, an injectable medicine to increase heart-rate may be used as part of resuscitation procedures. Syncope (pron. sin'-copy) means a faint. Vaso-vagal, a difficult but commonly-used term, refers to vascular effects (low blood pressure etc.) mediated by the vagus nerve.

FLAKING OUT IS WHAT THEY DO

(to the tune of "Breaking up is Hard To Do")

1. Slow ballad version (1975)

Down here in Nuclear Medicine, we have one big complaint

So, here's a little song about "The Faint" .....

"We need inject before we scan
And you have got such very big veins, man
Tell me please before I poke,
“You’ve never been a fainting bloke?”

(Sick patients - we get sent a lot
To assess heart disease and bad lung clots
But stretcher-bound in-patients ain’t
The folks who do injection-faints.)

A prior episode they seldom confirm -

Needles make them squeamishly squirm
 Seemed fit and hardy before,
 But soon as we inject we find them white as sheets slumped on the floor.

If I had known the outcome - that,

I would have lain him down and poked him flat

Guys hush up 'cause they prefer

Cross fingers that it won't recur.

Pulse and heart-rate typically low

Specific feature that you should know

Sinus brady – ECG;

It’s vaso-vagal syncope
It's vaso-vagal syncope.

2. Classic Rock version (1962)

  I beg the staff, don’t get too keen

They don’t need CPR or atropine

Leave their heads down on the floor;

Legs elevate and nothing more.

Blood pressure will come up and they’ll start to come ‘round,

Queeziness means leave left side down.

You can proceed with the test,

But if they ever show again, injecting while they’re supine’s best.

 

I tell my staff, don’t get too stressed

They need blood-volume transferred to their chest;

Leave their heads down on the floor

Legs elevate and nothing more.

Down doobee do down  down,  comma comma

Down doobee do down down,  comma comma

Down doobee do down down

Flaking out is what they-ey-ey do.

 

JUL 29, photo-collage (reptiles): broad-headed skinks

 

To see even more of these cute reptiles, you might want to review our posts "illustrated verse: broad-headed skinks",  and "folio entry: a broad-headed skink couple". 

 You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles' (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

JUL 28, waterfowl: snow geese

                                                                                                     approved, 2121, as OEDILF #112669

 You can review these illustrated verses in a wilder context by proceeding to 'Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. (Or, if you prefer, you can view them on Facebook in Giorgio's photo-albums).

JUL 27, wordplay: Scramble-towns eastern Canada,9

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams, i.e. letter scrambles, is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation.

LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map (10), eh?

Back up to the first Canadian map.

Back up to the first American map.

JUL 26, planet-saving verse: compostables (green bins)

 You can help save the planet by viewing all our verses in this series at "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

JUL 25, submitted palindomes: RANDOM PILES 24

 

You have reached the "Submitted Palindromes" thread on the blog "Daily Edifying Nonsense", a light literary entity that emanates through the blogosphere daily (almost), i.e. 30 times per month.

  On the 25th of each month you will find a slide-filling group of palindromic phrases submitted to the editors by a panel of 7 palindromists. These folks have all been working on this project since January 2020. The personal profiles for each of these contributors are displayed in panels published here at the start of things, and then, we have asked them to provide (palindromically, of course) their views on one of the iconic items in the classic literature, starting with "A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama", continuing with other well-known phrases, such as "Dennis sinned". Otherwise, their contribution will be grouped in monthly random piles (a phrase that you might recognize as an anagram of the word p-a-l-i-n-d-r-o-m-e-s).

You can access this delightful entertainment right here by entering submitted palindromes in one of the two search bars at the top of this post and scrolling downwards through the wordplay posts that you will discover, OR, just follow the links indicated above. 

Devotees of palindromic wordplay can further explore limericks and other short verses about the classic palindromes (and quite a few recent concoctions) that are randomly scattered on this blog after September 2000, or collected into grouped postings on our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense" -- start HERE.

JUL 24, Italian loanwords: fiasco

Authors' Note:  Fiasco is derived from a mid 19th-century slang expression used in Italian theatre, far fiasco, literally to do the flask, presumably relating to a drinking-game in which the player had to buy the next bottle (fiasco) if he failed.

 You can review our entire poetic outpouring about Italian loanwords by proceeding to a post on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'; click HERE.

JUL 23, diagnostic imaging: gadolinium contrast agents for MRI (magnetic resonance imaging)

Authors' Note:   Although the element gadolinium (Gd) is itself toxic, its highly bound chelates make excellent adjunctive agents for diagnostic imaging procedures using magnetic resonance (MR), as they change the magnetic properties of structures with high rates of blood flow, yet allow 'negligible' release of the metal into tissue during the interval following a single intravenous injection. Non-toxic chelates of metallic elements are normally rapidly cleared from the body by urinary excretion. 

    In the late 1990s, a  ‘new’ disease,  nephrogenic systemic fibrosis was found in a small minority of patients, mostly with severe kidney disease, who had received these contrast agents. The problem can be avoided by a simple screening of relevant patients for a history of kidney disease or renal impairment. 

    

JUL 22, at heart: the arteriopath

Authors' Note: Arteriopath is common medical jargon for a patient with severe obstructions in the peripheral arteries. The cause of this condition is generally atherosclerosis, and the leading risk factor for its development is smoking.

 

You can view more poems on this topic by proceeding to "Cardiologic Tracings: AT HEART" (parts #1 and #2) on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

JUL 21, anagram swarms: bilateral North American scheme (Canada's turn)

Stay tuned, and there will be more 'fun-with-anagram' wordplay-maps  showing further variants on this theme! 

OR, if you really want to get into this form of wordplay, you could delve into a series of posts on "Edifying Nonsense", starting HERE. 

JUL 20, singable satire: Glen Campbell sings "ROSENSTEIN"

 

MUSICAL UNDERPINNINGS:  "Galveston", by Jimmy Webb, popularized by Glen Campbell, 1969.
Enjoy Campbell's great guitar solo HERE on Youtube. 

SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2018..

PARODY-SONGLINK: To access ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "ROSENSTEIN" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

A link to info about the present debacle. 

ROSENSTEIN

(to the tune of "Galveston"

  

Rosenstein, Rod Rosenstein

We're amazed your probe's still thriving,

' Loyal' Fox News minions striving

(Mueller undermine), to trash you, Rosenstein.

Rosenstein, Rod Rosenstein,

You're in charge, with Jeff recusing,

You're the target for abusing,

Search warrant signed, by you, Rod Rosenstein.

Documents were seized from Cohen, the fixer.

Stormy's hush-funds source we're keen to see,

Do his tapes show complicity,

Or reveal "No collusion"'s a lie?

Rosenstein, Rod Rosenstein,

Prez has ranted 'bout your firing,

With stooges Steve and Devin trying,
To impeach. But please, like Ryan, don't resign,

Rod Rosenstein, Rod Rosenstein.    

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Rod Rosenstein, Deputy Attorney General in the U.S. Department of justice, January 2017 to present.

Robert Mueller, Special Counsel, appointed by Rosenstein, May 2017, to investigate Russian interference in the 2016 election.

James Comey, FBI Director, 2013-2017. His firing instigated Mueller's appointment as special counsel. His book "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership" was released May 1, 2018.

Jeff Sessions, U.S. Attorney General, appointed  in 2016

Michael Cohen,  personal lawyer and fixer, implicated in the payment of hush funds to Daniels and others.

Stormy Daniels, porn film star and director, seeking relief from a non-disclosure agreement arranged by Cohen just prior to the election in 2016, in relation to her claim of a tryst with D.T. 

Steve Bannon, senior advisor , formerly CEO of the alt-right outlet "Breitbart News"; filled the newly created position 'White House Chief Strategist' for 7 months until an apparent falling-out with the president. 

Devin Nunes, Republican congressman from California since 2003; chairman of the House Select Committee on Intelligence 2015-2018; unrelenting hardline supporter. 

Paul Ryan, House Republican leader and Speaker, 2015-2018, who announced his pending resignation, putatively for family reasons, at the time of the initial furore over the search of Cohen's home and offices.

JUL 19, organic brain poetry: early-onset Alzheimer's

Authors' Note:  Recent reports point out the devastating effects of an early onset of Alzheimer's dementia. Fortunately, this variant, manifesting at an earlier than usual age, is relatively uncommon, but isn't it time that we discovered the cause and treatment for this tragic disorder?

And, HERE are some old parody-song lyrics we composed in 2014, lamenting the lack of successful research in this area.

You can view and review all our verses on the topic of 'Organic Brain Poetry' by following this link to the encyclopedic collection on "Edifying Nonsense."

JUL 18, funny bones: heterotopic ossification (HO)

 

Authors' Note: 

 (HET-uhr-oh-top-ic, as here, or het-uhr-oh-TOP-ic)

      Usually asymptomatic, new bone formation in extra-skeletal sites seems to occur after physical or surgical trauma, particularly in the lower limbs following joint replacement. Occasionally, within several weeks after the inciting episode, tenderness and swelling near major joints may occur, needing to be differentiated from venous blockage, and requiring bone scanning for detection, as initial radiographs may be negative; this variant syndrome is known as myositis ossificans. Rarely, in progressive cases, surgery is eventually required to allow mobility at affected joints.

You can view verses on this topic in a wider context by proceeding to the post 'Breaking News: FUNNY BONES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE! 

JUL 17, palinku (poetic novety): invective

 

 You can view all our verses of this type if you  proceed with a single click to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. (Or if you prefer, you can stay on this particular blogsite and look for the offerings for the 17th day of each month -- there are now more than 60 of these.)

JUL 16, bar-fauna: the underground bar

 

JUL 15, death and the afterlife: homes in heaven

Authors' Note: 

chutzpah (Yiddish): shameless audacity

Shemayim (Hebrew): heaven

You can review more poems about 'Death and the Afterlife' in context on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

JUL 14, national and multinational verse: la Francophonie

 

Authors' Note:

d'accord (da-KOHR): French for "certainly" or  "of course"

pays (peh-EE):  "country" (singular or plural)

Belgique (behl-ZHEEK):  Belgium

Canada (ka-na-DUH): French version

Haïti (ah-ee-TEE or ah-ee-SEE): Haiti, a difficult name for anglophones

     to pronounce

Afrique (a-FREEK): Africa

Mozambique: former Portuguese colony on Africa's southeast coast; it's name does not derive from French   

You can review our collection of verses about various individual nations, and about the groupings to which they belong, on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. 

JUL 13, defining opinion: hooey

Our blogpost "Defining Opinion" on the topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" shows a selection of similar verses submitted to OEDILF (the online Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form). You can see all of these on one visit by clicking HERE.

JUL 12, folio-entry, couples: highly g(i)roomed dogs

NOT A TYPO !

giroomed:  a neologistic portmanteau word meaning 'groomed like a giraffe'

 

You can view all of our folio-photos from the collection of 'Couples' portraits in a wider context on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

                                                                                           

JUL 11, numbers: eleven/elf (11)

 You can review our cumulated nonsense about numbers by clicking HERE.

JUL 10, a brief saga (singular plurals): careers

 

Authors' Note: 

Grandpa Greg asked us to pass on this message: "You can view the entire collection of verses about 'pluralia tantum' by clicking HERE."

   For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format are involved in a collaborative editing process that may take several weeks to over a year. 

 Generally, OEDILF has not been enormously welcoming of multi-verse submissions, but Giorgio Coniglio has persisted, and there are now over 40 of these multi-verse poems featured in his 'Author's Showcase'. The OEDILF number for each accepted multiverse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. We have been blog-publishing these poetic adventures here monthly.

 To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog (August 2022), proceed to 'Mar-a-Lago' (dacha).

To access the most recent previous 'brief saga' (June 2022), back up to 'Canada'.

 To access all of our 'brief sagas' by the year of their creation, click on your selection below.

2020
2021
2022
2023.

JUL 9, doctors and their practices: the lithotripsy specialist

Authors' Note: 'dais' may apparently be pronounced DYE-uhs or DAY-uhs, although the authors had been familiar with only the former pronunciation.

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'DOCTORS and their PRACTICES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

JUL 8, poets' corner: 'Held' (editorial state)

Authors' Note:

 Held: a state of workshopping selected by an OEDILF author to shield their submission from discussion until further self-editing makes it suitable to return to the Tentative state for open collegial comment

A reminder: the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form is an online humor dictionary that has been making its way for 17 years through the alphabet to define the meaning(s) of each word in the English language. Its highly polished verses are accumulated by a collaborative editing process. In its 19 years of existence, it has progressed from A- to Ho-.  

You can find lots of other verses on this blog under the listing "Poets' Corner".  Click HERE.

  

JUL 7, trees: crepe myrtle xxxxxxxxxxxxLil

Addendum: Fall color, mid-Atlantic seaboard
photo kindly contributed by MMH

You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Uprooted Verse: 'Poems about Trees' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". 

As today is Lil's birthday, we are re-posting some old photos. She would be 106 today!

1976