SEP 30, singable satire, takin' care of reminiscence: "YOGI BERRA'S WISDOM"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Takin' Care of Business" 1973, Bachman-Turner Overdrive. 

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, September 2015.

YOGI BERRA'S WISDOM
(Takin' Care of Reminiscence)

(to the tune of "Takin' Care of Business")

A native of St Louie
Where they don’t put up with hooey,
'Cause Missouri’s motto is “Show me.”
Signed with Yankees in his teens
Power hitter, eighteen seasons
They retired his Number Eight jersey.
Lots of Series as a coach,
So reporters would approach
To find out what this winning maven say
He became our ‘Wisest Fool’    * 
But did only eight in school
Known for witticisms quite pithy.
And it’s...

Not over ‘til it’s over (in this game)
If the road forks, take it (just the same)
Asking what the time is - Do you mean now?
You observe a lot just by watching, anyhow.
Work out.

If it were déjà vu again,
We might get him to explain
If the people won’t come out, who’ll stop ‘em.
So don’t make wrong mistakes
Go to other peoples’ wakes,


Otherwise they won’t show when it’s your turn. 
Overwhelming underdogs
Take it with a grin of salt
He didn’t really say what he said.
And if you walk or drive
You’ll be lost when you arrive
If you don’t know where you are headed.
And we’ll use ..

Yogi Berra’s wisdom (every day)
Yogi Berra’s wisdom (every way)
That record stands ‘til broken, every time
Future’s not like once was; no nickel’s worth a dime.

They wouldn’t have won if we’d beat ‘em.
We have deep depth. Pair up in threes.

Out here it gets late early
Thanks for making necessary
That night when he’s inducted, Hall of Fame
It’s ninety percent mental,
And the other half’s physical
Don’t know nothing, baseball’s that kind of game.
No one goes there ’cause it's crowded
And though fan mail makes you proud
Don’t respond to anonymous letters
And when your batting slumps
With your average in the dumps
It’s blaming the bat that is better.
And we’ll be

Using Yogi’s wisdom (every day)
Yogi Berra's wisdom (every way)
If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.
He said, "It's not the heat, it's the humility."

 *  based on his speaking style, in 2005 The Economist named Yogi Berra 'Wisest Fool of the Past 50 Years'.

SEP 29, domestic hazards: kettles

 

 You can view an extensive collection of illustrated poems on this topic by proceeding to the post 'DOMESTIC HAZARDS' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

 

SEP 27, birdlore: American goldfinches

Authors' Note:  This common North American bird species, Spinus tristis, is often referred to as the "wild canary" owing to the male's bright yellow summer coat, set off by black wings with white ribbons and black forehead patch (the females' markings are less intense, particularly so re the forehead patch)). As their diet consists almost entirely of seeds, nesting does not begin until mid-or late summer when weed seeds become plentiful. Thistle heads are used not only to feed the young, but also to construct the nest! The relative dietary habits of finches around the globe (insects versus seeds) has been an area of intense biologic study (see the verse "Darwin's finches” at OEDILF.com). 

goldfinch, female 

You can view an encyclopedic collection of illustrated poems on this topic by proceeding to the post "Poems about BIRDLORE" on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. 

SEP 26, humorists' scurrilous talk: 'the C-word'

EDITORS' WARNING: You must be at least 12 years of age to read this post! 

 The collection of informative verses dealing with 'HUMORISTS' SCURRILOUS TALK' can be found by proceeding to  our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 25, at heart: dipyridamole for stress myocardial imaging

Authors' Note: 

 (dye-puh-RIH-duh-mawl)

(Puhr-SANT-in)

Tests of myocardial flow in the Nuclear laboratory, e.g. gated SPECT, require a stimulus so that the specific radiotracer can be injected at peak blood flow to image the state of heart muscle. Ideally, exercise stress, as with a submaximal treadmill procedure, provides this stimulus, with a high attained heart rate reflecting success. As a backup in those unable to exercise sufficiently, (musculoskeletal or breathing problems, reduced fitness), pharmacologic stress may be used. Dipyridamole ,tradename Persantine, is a commonly used agent for this purpose, increasing blood flow optimally, but with little change in heart rate or blood pressure. 

You can view more poems on this topic by proceeding to "Cardiologic Tracings: AT HEART" (parts #1 and #2) on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 24, Toronto ravines: Etobicoke Creek

 Today we had a chance to meet with friends and do a a picnic and a hike through this shale-lined ravine situated at the western boundary of the city. Thanks to the Toronto Region Conservation Authority who created this series of wonderful parks in response to the damage done by Hurricane Hazel in 1954 !

If you are interested in wending your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.

SEP 23, binomial phrases: "sin and redemption"

Authors' Note: The forty-fifth US president and his advisors seem to have come up with a scare tactic, telling voters that waves of Central American refugees appearing on the southern US border were comprised of potential rapists and drug-dealers. The 'redemption' referred to here is entry into the safe refuge of the United States.   

For binomial expressions, such as sin and redemption, there is (in normal times) a mandatory, irreversible order of the two linguistic elements.

 To review the poetic effusion that we have accumulated about binomial phrases, proceed to our blog "Edifying Nonsense", and enjoy the post  'Grandpa Greg's Grammar: Binomial Expressions'. Click HERE ! 

There is also an entire collection of lyrics to patter songs, somewhat older material, dedicated to various kinds of binomials, that provides more didactic material and an extensive series of examples, and allows you to sing these expressions for your own enjoyment, or for that of others around you. Click HERE !

SEP 22, scopes of medicine: ERCP

Authors' Note: Cholangiopancreatography is a technique for evaluation of the biliary and pancreatic systems of ducts by a skilled endoscopic operator, who advances the instrument, where possible through the intestine's duodenum into the common bile duct. in some cases treatment, e.g. extraction of gallstones, may also be performed with the diagnostic device. 

  The technique is of particular value when radiographic imaging (e.g. CT scanning), is unable to distinguish between inflammation (often due to impacted gallstones) and neoplasia (cancer).         

You can view a collection of verses on this topic by proceeding to 'Inner Enlightenment: The Scopes of Modern Medicine' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !

SEP 21, dental feelings (sentimental verse): deep dental cleaning

Authors' Note: 

local: jargon for injectable local an(a)esthetic

You can review the collection of illustrated verses on this topic by proceeding to the post 'Dental Feelings' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

 

SEP 20, singable satire: Frank Sinatra sings "PROSTATE CANCER"

 PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Love and Marriage", 1955, Cahn and van Heusen, performed by Frank Sinatra, also Peggy Lee and Dinah Shore.
PARODY COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, January 2016.

Humor is likely still the best medicine, even for retired physicians.

PARODY-SONGLINK: To access ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "Prostate Cancer" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

PROSTATE CANCER 

(to the tune of “Love and Marriage”: indentations at beginnings of lines flag the syncopation.) 

Strange behavior, prostate cancer
Danger lurking down there in your pants, sir?
Age-effect? guys wondered;
So, “Yes”, you’ll have it at one hunderd.

(bridge) 

Most such tumors are just harmless 

‘Cancer in situ’ [1] 

You’ll kick can from other cause, yet 

Con...cept might befright you.

If you’ve got 10 years to squander

These are treatment outcomes you should ponder:

No spread when detected -

Five-year survival’s not affected!

(But) Certain cancers are bad actors

Younger age and bad genes are risk factors

Yet we’ve got the greatest,

For early pick-up: PSA-test [2]

(bridge) 

Try set frequency and onset;

Screen to detect’em.

Current guide adds DRE [3] - that’s

   .... Finger-up-rectum.

DRE and PSA-test

If they’re worrisome you’ll face the next step

To resolve the issue

Your doc will want to get some tissue.

Cut and cure my prostate cancer?

Ask your Uro, he’ll provide the answer.

Positive biopsy –

Might turn your life-plan turvy-topsy.    

Plan for treatment and prognosis

 That depends on what your Gleason-score [4] shows

“Six” - equivocation

You might pick watchful expectation.

(bridge)

Sigh! Why try avoid? Decide [5], if

You’ve drawn a “Seven”.

There’s no call for you to bawl

Or ....  pack bags for Heaven.

If it’s surg(e)ry, I’d subject me

To a retropubic prostatect(o)my;

Radical excision

Routine or high-tech [6] - your decision.

Kids, I’m betting on the cure–oh!

So I’m heading home to see my Uro

As I told your mother, 

“Four decades passed, they went by fast,

Four decades passed, let’s spend ano-o-other.” 

Readers are advised to inform themselves to the extent possible, and

then discuss the many issues involved with their health provider. Excellent online material is available at the American Cancer Society website. 

[1] cancer 'in place', which has not invaded locally or spread beyond the prostate gland.

[2] Prostate-Specific Antigen; a protein which leaks into the blood at a rate proportional to the activity of prostate cells; frequently used to help detect and monitor cancer. 
  

[3] Digital Rectal Examination by your urologist, or other doctor - not pleasant, but important.

[4] a measure of the abnormality in cell-type on either biopsy or surgical specimens, on a 10-point scale, based on the 2 most abnormal patterns found within the gland. 

[5] at this stage, treatment is usually recommended to eliminate all prostate tissue. Surgery is the more common choice, but various forms of radiation (external beam or implantation of radioactive beads) have also been used.

[6] recently, high-tech variants (laparoscopic and robotic surgery) have been developed, but their additional benefit is incompletely proven.  

SEP 19, American satire: fraudulent

Authors' Note: The above verse reflects the workings of democracy as perceived by a vocal minority, sometimes labeled 'conspiracy theorists', following the 2020 US presidential election. See also the verse "grift".  

 

We hope that you enjoyed this verse. You can find more than 30 more on this topic in 5 collections on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE to start! 

SEP 18, wordplay maps: Scramble-towns of eastern Canada, #5 and #6

Who would ever have guessed? It turns out that an unparalleled word in generating anagrams (letter scrambles) is P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S. We have taken advantage of that property to create this unique series of wordplay maps of imaginary American (and Canadian) locales, each one completed by its official two-letter state (or provincial) abbreviation. 

 

LINKS to other nonsense in this series: 

Forward to the next Canadian map, eh?

Back to the previous Canadian map, eh?

Default to U.S.A. map #21 (final American version)

 

SEP 17, palinku (poetic novelty): Kansas (KS)

 

 

You can view all our "palinku" verses if you proceed with a single click to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. (Or if you prefer, you can stay on this particular blogsite and look for the offerings for the 17th day of each month -- there are now more than 60 of these.)

SEP 16, culinary verse: gefilte fish

 

There are a number of excellent and reliable commercial products; not surprisingly, in my view none can compete with my Aunt Shirley's home-made delicacy. 

Find the collection of illustrated poems dealing with these issues on the post 'Culinary Verse' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

SEP 15, curtained verse: horny rhino

 EDITORS' WARNING: You must be at least 12 years of age to read this post!

You can review other mildly scurrilous illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Curtained verse: Faintly Obscene (Selected) Limericks' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

SEP 14, variant Nantucket limerick: 'the Bay-Stater'

Authors' Note: 

Bay Stater: current official designation for a resident of the US state of Massachusetts

You can review our entire collection of spoof verses based on the iconic Nantucket limericks on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense' by clicking HERE.

SEP 13, reptiles: leaping lizards -- origin of flight

Authors' Note:  'Leapin' Lizards' was a classic idiom used to express surprise, long before it was suspected that birds had evolved from reptiles! 

You can review photos and illustrated herpetologic verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Verses about Reptiles' (don't worry! no snakes)' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'.

SEP 12, portraits of couples: The Red Slider

 

SEP 11, garden intruders: leaf-blowers

Readers, you are fortunate to have available all our poetic comments on creatures (animal and vegetable), devoted to subverting your gardening plans. To view this collection our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense", click HERE!

You can also review illustrated verses about orderly garden inhabitants by proceeding to 'Poetry Praising the Charleston Garden' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

SEP 10, a brief saga (waterfowl): the cormorant rookery

Birdlovers can review a collection of illustrated verses about waterfowl in a wider context by proceeding to "Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl" on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense', and following the links.

  For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three or more stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format are involved in a collaborative editing process that may take from several weeks to over a year for completion. 

  Generally, OEDILF has not been enormously welcoming of multi-verse submissions, but Giorgio Coniglio has persisted, and the OEDILF number for each accepted multiverse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. 

To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog (October 2021), proceed to 'Ablaut -- Verb Past Tenses'.

To access the most recent previous 'brief saga' (August 2021), back up to 'French Denial'.  

To access all of our 'brief sagas' by the year of their creation, click on your selection below.

2020
2021
2022

2023. 

SEP 9, patients and maladies: diabetes insipidus

 

Authors' Note:  A deficiency of the pituitary hormone ADH (anti-diuretic hormone, also known as vasopressin), is the most common cause of a spontaneous development of polyuria due to diabetes insipidus. This disorder, characterized by passing of large volumes of urine, is partly compensated by increased thirst. A lack of sugar in the urine despite its large volume would exclude glycosuria due to diabetes mellitus. Radiographic tests done in this situation would definitely include imaging for evaluation of the skull base, as a tumour involving the posterior portion of the pituitary gland is a common cause.

 

You can view these verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Nurse-Verse: Patients and their Maladies' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 8, waterfowl: ruddy turnstones

 

 ruddy turnstone, a high Arctic-breeding shorebird,
scurries across a beach strewn with oyster shells,
Patriots Point SC, May 2022

ruddy turnstone: female,
smaller and less brightly colored

You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. 

SEP 7, funny bones: Enid's osteopenia

 

Authors' Note: 

Osteopenia (ost-ee-oh-PEE-nee-yah), or reduced bone mass as suggested on regular x-ray studies, is a 'washed out' appearance raising the question of whether the patient has osteoporosis, a significant loss of bone mineral resulting in increased fracture risk. The word break in osteopenia (osteo, Latin root for ‘bone’) at the end of the first line is a reminder of its association with fracture. The DEXA test evaluates the mass of bone reproducibly, and, in the context of age and gender, helps decide on the necessity of drug treatment to prevent 'fragility fractures'. 

You can read more about the DEXA test for bone mineral density (BMD) HERE.

You can view verses on this topic in a wider context by proceeding to the post 'Breaking News: FUNNY BONES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 6, bottom line of medical humor: hemorrhoids

Authors' Note:  The long-term effectiveness of surgical and other treatments for hemorrhoids is disappointingly low. 

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'The BOTTOM LINE of MEDICAL HUMOR' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

SEP 5, mammalian wildlife: skunks (evolution)

You can review the whole collection of illustrated verses about mammals (both domestic and exotic) by checking out the more extensive post on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !