September 20, 2023

SEP 20, singable satire: Allan Sherman sings "MINOS'S TAIL TWIST"

 

PASTICHE WITH PARODY SONG-LYRICS

ORIGINAL POEM:  "Inferno" by Dante Alighieri, the first book in the triad, "The Divine Comedy", written in the early 14th century.
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Mexican Hat Dance", Allan Sherman, 1963. 
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.


PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and
 guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "Minos's Tail Twist" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

Resuming at Canto 5 of “The Inferno” after a considerable pause.... Dante, guided by the Roman poet Virgil is on a mission presumably sanctioned by heavenly powers, that leads them progressively further downward into the Circles of Hell.


MINOS’S TAIL-TWIST

(to the tune of "The Mexican Hat Dance")

Intro:
Oh! King Minos, his son was a Taurus -
A Greek legend whose details might bore us,
Yet old Virgil’s Aeneid implores us
To think Minos a judge of the Dead.

The next chapter is D. Alighieri’s
He conceived of a Minos more scary.
This huge reptile makes sinners despair-y
He’s Inferno’s vile judge of the Dead.  Olé!
  
Dante:            Così
Discesi del cerchio primaio
Dov’è dolor che piunge a guaio
A lagrimar mi fanno pio
 "Minos", Gustave Dore
Stavvi horribilmente Minòs.

Our nice outing in Limbo had ended.
To the grim Second Ring we descended,
Where this gross snarling monster offended
With the verdict he gives with his tail.

Essamina le colpe nell’intrata,
Le confessa l’anima mal nata
Vede qual loco d’infern' è da essa,
Della peccata è conoscitor!

He examines the souls of transgressors
As a devilish father-confessor,
Assigns Circle of Hell, more or less, Sir,
With the number of coils in his tail.
the traditional Jarabe Tapatio,
 "Mexican Hat Dance"

Un atto di cotanto offizio -
Sempre dinanzi ne stanno molte
Vanno al giudizio,
E dicono e odono
Minos si cigne e giù son volte.

You’d done rapine and pillage and letching
You’d sinned quite a good bit in your youth
You thought you had hidden
Those bad things you did then,
But Minos will find out the truth.

Crowds pour in! To get dissed!
In turn each one gets judged
They’d prefer not to budge,
But they’re hurled downward in the abyss.

Disse Minòs a me quando me vide,
“Guarda di cui tu ti fide”
E’l duca mio lui “Perche pur gride?”
Vuolsi cosí colà si puote.

Oh, this tail-twister’s workflow was broken,
When he’d spied me and snarkily spoken,
Virge rebuked him with a poignant token
Of the Power that willed us ahead.  

A pianto sentire or son venuto
In loco d’ogne luce muto
Da contrari venti è combattuto
Intesi - ecco dannati
I peccator carnali
Nulla speranza di posa
Ove Minòs manda colla coda. *

Now, there starts up such sad incantation,
And the roar of a storm’s emanation -
Wind-tossed darkness and sad lamentation
‘Cause by now you could guess
There’s eternal distress -
Lustful lovers were damned and confined
Here, where Minos’s tail-twist assigned.
Olé.

* coda, the Italian word for tail, also implies a conclusion or ending.


 Interesting Side-Notes (Minos as portrayed by Michelangelo)

  • Michelangelo's "Last Judgment", painted on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel was criticized by a papal attendant, Baigio da Cesena, as more appropriate for a tavern because of its use of nude figures. 
  • In its final version, Minos is portrayed at the lower right portion of the scene, with facial features presumably similar to Baigio. surrounded by other devils, with donkey ears, and with his tail wrapped around him. One can observe the subtle detail of a serpent biting the Minos-figure on the genitals!
  • The Pope claimed he had no jurisdiction over Hell, and therefore let the painting remain in this form, despite da Cesena's objection.





September 19, 2023

SEP 19, photo-collage: great egrets at a Toronto pond











Not too bad for cell-phone photos, eh?

(A few selected still pics will be posted in a month or so.) 

 




September 18, 2023

SEP 18r, savoir-faire --- corniches of Nice

 

a) reprise from September 2020


SEP 18, savoir-faire: corniches (Nice)





  You can review verses on this topic in a wider context on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Check the post 'Vers Francais: Savoir-Faire' by clicking HERE

           

b) Giorgio's lexicon of binomials (repetitive, echoic)



Quite a few repetitive ('echoic') binomials have been highlighted in short verses by the authors:  

You can easily find all of these on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE, and following the links. 

September 17, 2023

SEP 17, palinku (poetic novelty): reliable transport






 You can readily view all our "palinku" verses  if you proceed with a single click to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. (Or if you prefer, you can stay on this particular blogsite and look for the offerings for the 17th day of each month -- there are now more than 60 of these.)





links for any date: scroll over to the calendar-based listings of 'Past Posts' in the righthand column on this page, choose your month of interest, and then select (by clicking) the post of your choice.


September 16, 2023

SEP 16, cinematic guide: gainless (M*A*S*H theme-song)



Authors' Note: Director Robert Altman had initially requested music for a single scene in the 1970 movie M*A*S*H; in keeping with the plot, this was to be "the stupidest song ever written". Having difficulty in completing the lyricist's task himself, Altman called on his 14-year-old son, who presumably finished the job in a few minutes. The music for "Suicide is Painless" went on to become highly popular as the principal theme for the movie and the TV series; the lyrics are not widely known, but earned the junior Altman large sums in royalties.



You can view our collection of verses about the cinema on our encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE

SEP 16, chemical states (and provinces): eastern U.S.




 

 You can view the collection of posts on this topic with this link to our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense" -- click HERE.



September 15, 2023

SEP 15, exemplification: Donald Duck's malarkey




Authors' Note: The term malarkey for "nonsense" is likely of Greek origin, but does not appear to related to mallard ducks.

 To review our whole collection of "exemplary exemplifications", click HERE



September 14, 2023

SEP 14r, Toronto ravines: 'Brickworks' photocollages


a) reprise from 2020

SEP 14, Toronto ravines: Brickworks photocollages #1-#3











b) Giorgio's lexicon of binomial phrases (repetitive or 'echoic')



Quite a few repetitive ('echoic') binomials have been highlighted in short verses by the authors:  

You can easily find all of these on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE, and following the links. 






September 13, 2023

SEP 13, pill-poppin' poem: simethicone for abdominal bloating




Authors' Note: Simethicone (simeticone), a silicon-based product, is the active ingredient in most current over-the-counter remedies to relieve abdominal distension and gaseous bloating. With coalescence of the offending small bubbles, the gas is dispersed by flatulence and belching.
You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Pharmaceutical (pill-poppin') Poems' on the full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

September 12, 2023

SEP 12r, Toronto ravines: Riverdale Farm collages

 

 a) reprise from September 2020


SEP 22, Toronto ravines: Riverdale Farm, photocollages #1-#2










 If you are interested in wending your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.

b) Giorgio's lexicon of binomial phrases (repetitive or 'echoic')


Quite a few repetitive ('echoic') binomials have been highlighted in short verses by the authors:  

You can easily find all of these on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE, and following the links. 





September 10, 2023

SEP 10, a brief saga (medical statistics): clinical trial -- a gram of prevention














 
Authors' Note: The conclusion of this imaginary placebo-controlled trial of magic in the prevention and treatment of ILLS can be stated as follows:

Parenteral administration of a low dose (1 gram) was found uniformly effective in prevention. For oral treatment of later established cases, the dosage requirement was found to be higher by a factor of 16 times (95% confidence interval: 9 — 25).
The above conclusion could, with inherent limitations of proportionality, be converted back to older units (as spoofed on the OEDILF site by Giri): "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

You can review a collection of related poems about clinical trials and clinical statistics by advancing to the blog "Edifying Nonsense" where you can find "A Limerick-Based Handbook on Medical Testing". Click HERE.  


 For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary iLimerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format are involved in a collaborative editing process that may take several weeks to over a year. 

 There are now over 40 of these lengthier bits of doggerel featured at OEDILF in Giorgio's "Author's Showcase". The OEDILF number for each accepted multiverse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. We have been blog-publishing these poetic adventures here monthly since January 2020.

To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog (October 2023), proceed to ... 'Creep', and its verbal variants. 
To access the most recent previous 'brief saga' (August 2023), back up to 'Herbicides'.

September 9, 2023

SEP 9, higher connections: haredim

 


Authors' note: 

(khah-ray-DEEM)

Various groups of strictly Orthodox or haredi (khah-RAY-dee) Jews represent an expanding demographic in Israel, assembling in particular neighborhoods (such as the suburbs of Jerusalem) where they carry out their lifestyle, rejecting and disdaining the secular environment, preferring a world characterized by observance of laws derived from the Torah (Bible). Their traditional dress reflects the groups' roots in 19th century Ashkenazi religious communities in eastern Europe. The name (the plural noun form) originates from a biblical reference to those who tremble at the word of God.

With large families (averaging 7 children per woman), these groups made up 4% of Israeli citizens in 1980, and 13% in 2021.

September 8, 2023

SEP 8, poetic non-sequitur: Edmond Hoyle






Authors' Note: 

according to Hoyle: an idiom alluding to Edmond Hoyle's books as the ultimate authority on the rules of social games, particularly cardgames such as whist

There are few verifiable details of the early life of Edmond Hoyle (1672–1769). As a tutor in parlour games, he published A Short Treatise on the Game of Whist at the age of 70. Other books of rules followed, primarily involving card games, but also chess and probability theory. Hoyle died at age 97 in London, England, prior to the popularization of today's most common games such as poker and contract bridge. 

Our collection of "Non-Sequiturs" on our parent blog "Edifying Nonsense", contains an admittedly bizarre assortment of nonsensical odds-and-ends, that don't quite fit into other topic-based offerings. But should you want to review the entire collection, click HERE.

September 7, 2023

SEP 7, defining opinion: hourly

 


Authors' Note  As the hour is one of the most commonly used measure of time, fitting well with the time-frame of daily human activities, it is used more often in a general than in a scientific or precise sense. Examples of this usage include the appointed hour and happy hour. The derived adverb hourly shares this attribute.


Our blogpost, "Defining Opinion", on the topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" shows a selection of similar verses submitted to OEDILF (the online Omnificent English Dictionary iLimerick Form). You can see all of these on one visit by clicking HERE.


September 6, 2023

SEP 6r, Toronto ravines: Sherwood

 

a) reprise from 2020


SEP 6, Toronto ravines: Sherwood





If you are interested in wending/winding/whatever your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.


b) Giorgio's lexicon of binomial phrases (repetitive or 'echoic')


Quite a few repetitive ('echoic') binomials have been highlighted in short verses by the authors:  

You can easily find all of these on our topic-based blog "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE, and following the links. 

September 5, 2023

SEP 5, painterly poetry: Picasso's blue period









Check out our entire collection of illustrated verses on "painterly poetry" by clicking HERE
 

another artist's blue period




September 4, 2023

SEP 4, Canadiana: Mounties (horses)


Authors' Note: Spokesperson "Miki" is a Canadian woman of Japanese extraction who is a "Mountie", common moniker for a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, a name deriving from the service's early days. Horses now play only a minor role in the RCMP's primary goal, the enforcement of federal criminal law; they are still used for crowd-control maneuvers, and in public spectacles, including the well-reputed "Musical Ride". Since 1966, however, horseback riding is no longer a mandatory skill required in the training of new officers. 
  Under contract, the RCMP also provides policing service to eight of Canada's ten provinces (Ontario and Quebec being the exceptions), the three Canadian northern territories, and 600 indigenous communities. Under its purview are towns such as Whitehorse, Yukon, and Hay River, Northwest Territories. 

You can review poems, pictures and diverse nonsense related to Canada on the post "Canadiana" on our full-service blog  "Edifying Nonsense".

September 3, 2023

SEP 3, Toronto ravines: Brickworks, floating islands (poem)
















If you are interested in wending your way through an encyclopedic collection of four blogposts stuffed with photo-collages on Toronto ravines, click HERE.

September 2, 2023

SEP 2, terminal (poetic) exclamation: OY, GEVALT!



 

Authors' Note: 

trombenyk: Yiddish for a ne'er-do-well, often a braggart

oy, gevalt (oy-guh-VAHLT): phrase borrowed from Yiddish; an exclamation expressing shock, surprise or disapproval

You can review our collection of poems on the topic of "Terminal Exclamation (Limerick Variations)" as it evolves on our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense"; click HERE


September 1, 2023

SEP 1, mammalian wildlife: upsetting gnus



Authors' Note: Two major species of gnu (genus Connochaetes) are found in Africa — the black wildebeest (C. gnou) and the blue wildebeest (C. taurinus). The blue species is somewhat larger, and their horns are of different configuration; other differences are minor. The two species overlap in their range, but there is no other recorded instance of animosity or prejudice deriving from these differentiating traits.

This verse, with a completely apocryphal story, was inspired by Workshop's depressing, a brief poem published at OEDILF, the online collaborative poetry site ending with the phrase "really terrible gnus".


DOGGEREL-WRITING

A doggerel-writer, a keener,

By mean peers was judged coarse and obscener:

("From this site, you are banished!")

Wrote some winners, then vanished —

He'd committed a gross misdemeanour.

Here's our hope: We'll now cope, much serener.

Dr G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, 2023

Authors' Note:  We are talking here about an open-forum collaborative website, so  the reader will realize that there are only a few opportunities for misdemeanourship. A major one was apparently undertaken by the prolific writer in question, but he did leave behind some great five-liners, including this author's favorite — (originally published under the title 'depressing'). 


WORKING AT ZOOS

The work is depressing at zoos,
So I often go home with the blues.
And it's getting more bleak;
For example, last week,
We received really terrible gnus.

 Workshop