MAR 30, singable satire: "YEW-PHORIC"

PARODY LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Hot Blooded" 1978, Foreigner.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, May 2016.
SONG-LINK: To access ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "Coach the Nestlings" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.
                                                                           

YEW-PHORIC
                                      

w

wishful thinking -
magnificent specimens of  'Japanese yew'
for sale at a Brazilian nursery: web-image

(to the tune of "Hot Blooded")




Well, I'm euphoric, planned a new hedge
Down my property at its western edge.
Screen out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff.
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.  

I won't have to see the junk, ev'ry day you bring in your trunk.
Discount plants that you buy

Spread out on your drive, some dead some half-alive .

I won't care where you pot them after they die.

I'll restrict your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins. 
While I've been away, I know you use my walk on garbage day.

It's called Podocarpus, or Japanese yew
Grows quite tightly, blocks objectable view 

Walkway from author's main door
(side of patio-home) runs to street,
now bounded by 33 yew plants
 on the right hand side of property. 

Screen this neighbor, who spreads out all her junk
I'm YEW-phoric, YEW-phoric.

My first scheme denied - planting zone can't be on your side.
Shall we break off the talks?
But I needed space next to line; more space at property line, 
Near killed me, used hot crow-bar, smashed half-foot off my brick walk. 

Do you love to hoard? And pile your yard up with old bricks and boards?
Buy old junk on binge? Old bent Santa-sign with rusty fringe?

Now I'm euphoric -- more privacy
Bought their stock out, planted all thirty-three
Screened out neighbor, with garage piled with stuff
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.

(Electric guitar or ukulele solo)

I'll track down your sins, secret forays with your garbage bins 
If I find snipped yews, I'll assume a crime by you-know-who.

Yeah, I'm euphoric, new privacy hedge
Blocks invading weeds like knotweed and sedge
Screened out neighbor, who spreads out all her trash
I'm YEW-phoric, I'm YEW-phoric.
                                                                          

Walkway from author's main door
(side of patio-home) runs to street,
now bounded by 33 yew plants
 on the right hand side of property. 

(Fade)
Eureka! Hedge that's so neat
A year of growth - should get to five feet
YEW-phoric; it reduces my stress
YEW-phoric; screens out all her mess  
YEW-phoric; it grows pretty dense
YEW-phoric; hides her lawn ornaments  
YEW-phoric; it's making me dance
YEW-phoric; these are dense fence-plants .......

MAR 29, culinary verse: gyozas (potstickers)

 

Find the collection of illustrated poems dealing with these issues on the post 'Culinary Verse' on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Click HERE!

MAR 28, savoir-faire: goat cheese (chevre)

 You can review verses on this topic in a wider context on our full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. Check the post 'Vers Francais: Savoir-Faire' by clicking HERE. 

MAR 27, oncologic verse: facial nerve malfunction

Authors' Note:  Following manipulation of the facial nerve during parotid gland surgery, bizarre malfunction often occurs. Sweating in the region around one ear provoked by eating, a state known as Frei’s syndrome, is seen commonly and may persits indefinitely. 

 You can view all such verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection of "ONCOLOGY VERSES" on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

MAR 26, mammalian wildlife: woodchucks

Authors' Note:  The woodchuck or groundhog is a large squirrel-like animal

best know for its extensive tunneling. Although herbivorous, it is not normally interested in eating or tossing wood, the latter being an activity for which it is poorly physically adapted. 

   Apparently, the name woodchuck is a corruption of the Algonquian word wejack; the name also is responsible for the American tongue-twister: 

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

You can review the whole collection of illustrated verses about mammals (both domestic and exotic) by checking out the more extensive post on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE !

MAR 25, limerick for lovers of classical languages: Greek

Today is Greek Independence Day. Enjoy this post, and have a good day!

To review all of our output on the topic of classic languages, go to our encyclopedic compendium, "Edifying Nonsense"; click HERE !

MAR 24, classic palindrome: 'sex of foxes'

You can review a collection of these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Reversing Verse: Limericks About Classic Palindromes' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. 

MAR 23, doctors and their practices: the colonoscopist

Authors' Note:

prep: medical jargon for preparatory measures needed before surgery or complex testing

  The general public is aware of the importance of colonoscopy for screening in early colon cancer. Colonoscopy also plays an important role in the diagnosis, treatment and followup of symptomatic colonic problems, including isolated polyps, diffuse polyposis of several kinds, colitis and gastrointestinal bleeding. Your colonoscopist is likely to be a surgeon, less commonly an internist, trained in gastrointestinal diseases and in the technical aspects of flexible fiberoptic endoscopy.

You can view these informative verses in a wider context by proceeding to the collection 'DOCTORS and their PRACTICES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

MAR 22, classic palindrome: 'madam, I'm Adam'

You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Reversing Verse: Limericks About Classic Palindromes' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. 

MAR 21, commercial product: dust (furniture protector)

Authors' Note:  The principal ingredients and other details of "Dust", the indispensable home furniture protector, are left to the reader's imagination.

 

The panel below, indicating a contrary view of the relevance of dust in the preservation of museum artifacts, was copied photographically from a placard at the Lady Lever Museum, Port Sunlight, UK. 

Our range of domestic and commercial products is somewhat limited, but you might want to review our unusual prospective gifts on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE.

MAR 20, singable satire: Al Jolson sings "CALI(fornia)"

 PARODY SONG-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Swanee" by Al Jolson.

PARODY COMPOSED: Dr. G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, April 2019, following a trip to California.

UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: All our songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players, with uke chord-indications, on our sister blog  "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE". Click HERE to proceed to that site, and you'll find some more pictures of the visit. 

(to the tune of Gershwin's "Swanee")

CA’s your postal designation – 

Confusion for this old Canuck.

But I recall     

Having a ball                              

(As a kid down there I'd snuck).

I’m going back as an old codger,

To see my son in academe.

The kid’s no fool,     

In graduate school;

Together we’ll explore this meme.

Cali, how I love ya, how I love ya,

My dear old Cali.  

I’d give my URL to be                           

Among the geeks in S-I-L-I-C-O-N,     

That’s ‘Valley’. I could groove there! 

Should I move there? Silicon Valley.

To folks back home, I’ll e-mail or post 

When I get to that old West Coast.

Muni, Muni,

‘Round San Francisco: Muni.

Silicon Valley -

BART’s where I’ll leave my heart.

Cali: Fillmore Jazz and Alcatraz,

In my dear old Cali.  

Historic trolleys - fun

And cable cars climb halfway to the sun     

Or Santa Clara (San Jose – I lost my way!) 

There’s Jack Kerouac Alley

The City Lights will be within reach 

At Little Italy / North Beach. 

Muni, Muni,

I’ll fill my ‘Clipper’, Muni.

(They won’t take toonies)

BART’s where I’ll leave my heart.

Cali, here I come, I’ll sing and strum, 

'Bout my dear old Cali.  

('Cause when I'm gone I'll mourn                           

Not being there in C-A-L-I California.)     

Cali: How to get there? 

I could jet there! I’ll need to rally.

To folks back east, sure, I’ll brag and I’ll boast,

When I go to that West Coast, 

I'll dally at the best coast, 

When I go to that old West Coast.

PARODY LINK

The original song appears to have been parodied only occasionally. Nonetheless, readers may be quite interested to review a parody concocted in 2005 by 'Airfarcewon' on AmIRight, a song-lyrics website with almost 90,000 entries.

Lyrics for the song "Salami" can be found here.

MAR 19, sleek Greek prefixes: EPI-

Authors' Note: 

ephemeral: transitory; derived from the Greek epi-'on' + hemera-'day', a variant form of the prefix

ephedrine: drug isolated in 1885 from the traditional Chinese medicine ephedra, sometimes an abused stimulant, recently deleted from combined medications and from formularies in many countries owing to side effects, including increased risk of sudden death

schleppy: dragging or fatigued, from the Yiddish word schlep.

The gravesite of Giuseppe is marked by the simple epitaph, "Epicurean Hippy".

And, here's another verse exemplifying use of this common prefix ...

Clicking HERE will introduce you to our entire collection of verses about the Greek prefixes!

MAR 18, old world palindromes #17 and #18

 You can view the entire collection of 'Old World Palindromes' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense"; start by clicking here. 

MAR 17, palinku (poetic novelty): gender-roles

   In this post, we will continue with our exemplification of "palinku"s,  our novel form of poetic wordplay. Inspired by Japanese haiku poetry, this new form is used for a terse verse with a total of 17 syllables displayed on three lines. Unlike its classic Japanese analogue, the format does not mandate the precise distribution of the syllables among the three lines, but does stipulate that each word in the poem be included in a palindromic phrase or sentence in English (i.e. one that can be read either forwards or backwards). 

  To help the reader discern the origin of the lyrics, each palindrome (generally occupying one of the three lines of the poem) has been color-coded. Generally, these verses have been displayed on this blog at the rate of once monthly.

You can view all our "palinku" verses if you proceed with a single click to our more encyclopedic blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. (Or if you prefer, you can stay on this particular blogsite and look for the offerings for the 17th day of each month -- there are now more than 60 of these.)

MAR 16, humorists' scurrilous talk: 'the turd'

EDITORS' WARNING: You must be at least 12 years of age to read this post! 

The collection of informative verses dealing with 'HUMORISTS' SCURRILOUS TALK' can be found by proceeding to our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!

For more verses of this type, you might also want to review some related informative verses in the collection 'The BOTTOM LINE of MEDICAL HUMOR' . Click HERE! 

MAR 15, anagram swarms: 'Canada's turn at bat' (North American anagram swarm)

These locales are designated in a more formal global format, with the national designation (the two-letter abbreviation 'CA') at the end of each locale (town + province). This wordplay map is a repeat from the post of March 10, designed to get you warmed up. 

Remember, you can enlarge any photo just by clicking on it (and escape from the enlarged format by finding the little 'x' in the upper right field).   

In this treatment, we leave out the national designation (CA) at the end of each destination, coming back to the familiar form of postal address used by Canadians when sending domestic mail. Note that the provinces of Alberta (AB) and British Columbia (BC) can now join in! 

In Canada, we seem to have a propensity to name many of our towns and cities to highlight adjacent geographical features, e.g. Niagara Falls, Goose Bay, Rankin Inlet, Rainy River, Trois Rivieres, etc. The following collection honours that propensity. 

Stay tuned, and there will be more 'fun-with-anagram' wordplay-maps  showing further variants on this theme! 

OR, if you really want to get into this form of wordplay, you could delve into a series of posts on "Edifying Nonsense", starting here. 

 

MAR 14, English literature survey course: "A Connecticut Yankee..." (Twain's novel)

Authors' Note:  The concept for a classic literary satire began in 1884 when author Mark Twain (real name Samuel Clemens) read Le Morte d'Arthur (the Death of Arthur) by Sir Thomas Mallory, a classic romance about the knights of the Round Table. 

  In Twain’s fictional account, published 1889, action unfolds when Hank, a 19th century munitions-factory mechanic, awakens from a head injury to find himself amidst the sorcerers and knights at Camelot. As he rises to high rank in medieval society through manipulation of modern technology, he becomes known simply as "Boss".

 You can review the entire curriculum for our 'English Classics Survey Course' at "Edifying Nonsense" by clicking HERE.

MAR 13, waterfowl: black-crowned night herons

 You can review these illustrated verses in a wider context by proceeding to 'Immersible Verse: Limericks about Waterfowl' on the full-service blog 'Edifying Nonsense'. 

black-crowned night heron,
taking off near the pond

MAR 12, portraits of couples: white ibis

Enjoy an illustrated verse about the American white ibis, Eudocimus albus, by clicking HERE.

You can view these photos from our portfolio of 'Couples' portraits in a wider context on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense" HERE.

MAR 11, diagnostic imaging: ECG-gated SPECT

Authors' Note:  SPECT (Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography) imaging of the myocardium (heart muscle), performed at rest and with stress (exercise or drug infusion) is currently the most frequent test performed in hospitals' nuclear imaging departments.

   The 3-dimensional images, a type of computed tomography, are produced with a camera which detects the emission of the single-energy gamma rays following an injection of a radionuclide. By connecting the patient to a system for recording the ECG (electrocardiogram), the images can be "gated", i.e. divided into segments of the cardiac cycle; these show contraction of the ventricles, following each of two injections of the imaging agent. A muscle region showing identically poor blood flow (perfusion) and contractile function at rest and stress represents prior heart damage, and is unlikely to respond to therapy.

You can review all our verses on this intriguing topic by proceeding to a post on 'Edifying Nonsense' entitled 'Selected Topics in Diagnostic Imaging'. Click HERE!

 

MAR 10, a brief saga (toxic vignettes): workplace pollution

Authors' Note:  Only a minority of occupational toxins produce cancer. Asbestos, ionizing radiation, radon gas, and secondhand smoke are the best-studied occupational chemicals that do so. The most prevalent carcinogen encountered by workers is tobacco.

  Often the pattern of body sites affected is characteristic, e.g. soot/scrotal cancer, asbestos/lung cancer, radiation/bone marrow cancers, etc. In many countries, the lifetime risk of developing a malignancy is in the order of 25%. A small increase above this background rate would be highly regrettable, but difficult to discern and to distinguish from random variation.

  The effects of potentially toxic substances are often not well-characterized. As with other harmful effects, study of the situation during plant operation, and efforts to make all exposure as low as reasonably achievable (a principle known as ALARA) , with the cooperation of workers and management in the process, is critical. 

 

For the purpose of this blog, a 'brief saga' is defined as a poem, usually narrative, but occasionally expository, that tell its story in at least 15 lines. Most commonly, the format involves three stanzas in limerick form, constituting a single submission to the online humor site 'Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form'. On the OEDILF site, rigorous standards for content and format proceed in a collaborative editing process that may take several weeks to over a year. 

  Generally, OEDILF has not been enormously welcoming of multi-verse submissions, but Giorgio Coniglio has persisted, and the OEDILF number for each accepted multi-verse poem is shown here on the slide with its first verse. 

To access the next 'brief saga' on this blog (April 2021), proceed to 'Glock-toting Phyllis' (bipolar illness).

To access the most recent previous 'brief saga' (February 2021), back up to 'the Word on GERD'  (gastro-esophageal junction) . 

 To access all of our 'brief sagas' by the year of their creation, click on your selection below.

2020
2021
2022
2023.

MAR 9, funny bones: anatomic snuffbox

 

 You can view verses on this topic in a wider context by proceeding to the post 'Breaking News: FUNNY BONES' on our full-service blog "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE!